It’s been two weeks since my hip replacement surgery. While these two weeks have been filled many physical gains, those haven’t been my biggest successes. My greatest success in this has actually come in the form of something I never expected. I am no longer ashamed of my body.
The weeks leading up to my surgery I was a wreck. I was embarrassed to tell people I was a healthy, highly active 38 year old woman who needed a hip replacement due to avascular necrosis. I was ashamed of my body. Felt like I wasn’t a worthy person.
It’s no lie I’ve been dealing with this shame for awhile.
If you’ve been a long time reader, you know the last two years have been hard. I’ve struggled a lot with my body. From losing 80 pounds to enduring multiple sports injuries to battling hormone imbalances and now a new hip. I’ve shared every struggle along the way.
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After surgery, I thought people would take pity on me or view me as weak for having a hip replacement.
If there’s anything I can’t handle, it’s people treating me as if I’m incapable of doing everyday things. People also leave you when you’re sick. At least, that’s what happened to me during the two years I was sick so I assumed people would do the same to me after surgery.
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My first day back at the gym I was greeted by my peeps. I hadn’t told anyone I was having surgery so of course, there were a lot of questions. At first, I was reluctant telling people but I couldn’t hide it gimping around on a crutch. So I just said it. “I had a hip replacement 10 days ago.”
Saying those words out loud, my entire world changed.
Suddenly, I realized how PROUD I felt. Proud that I trained my body hard before the surgery like I would train for a race – focusing on building strength and a tightening my nutrition. Sure, it wasn’t my best I’ve lost muscle tone as a result of the surgery, but I would not be back in the gym 10 days post surgery riding a spin bike and lifting weights had I not done those things.
So many times throughout my life, I’ve wished for a different body.
One that was prettier, skinnier, healthier. One that didn’t have physical challenges or limitations. But here’s the thing. You can always wish for something more or something different, but those feelings keep you stuck where you are today.
The only way to move forward is accepting where you are at this moment, embracing what you CAN DO and being brave enough to praise yourself for small steps along the way. Only then, will you no longer feel ashamed of your body.
Thanks for letting me Think Out Loud
Are you ashamed of your body?
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Love this, Megan ❤️
I think it’s in physical challenges or being out of our physical “comfort zone” that we learn to appreciate our bodies, flaws and all.
For me, pregnancy and the postpartum period was healing.
I’m so happy for you and wish you the best!
Thank you Catherine. I’m so glad to hear you’ve found your happy place too. 🙂
Really freaking proud of you. Our bodies are complicated, flawed, and often don’t work how we would like them to, but shame is something we shouldn’t feel for them. I’m glad that this has helped you heal (even though I wish you didn’t have to go through it, obviously!).
It really did which is so bizarre and unexpected. I wish it wouldn’t have happened but it is what it is and I can’t change it so I have find acceptance. You of all people I’m sure understands this.
“You can always wish for something more or something different, but those feelings keep you stuck where you are today.” <– Amen! My biggest struggles have made me the most appreciative of my body/life as well. It's like those trials finally makes us realize how amazing we have it, which (like you said) is what allows us to move past that "stuck" place and work on bettering what we have.
Exactly! It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut and not realizing how much we have to be thankful for.
I think I am more disappointed in my body rather than ashamed, it just keeps letting me down and is showing no signs of wanting to heal! But you are right, we need to work with what we have got and stay positive in the face of our limitations.
It must have been a nice feeling to get back to the gym!!! Very envious!!!
I know it’s frustrating. Sometimes that’s the body’s way of saying it needs more of something else. I’m sending you many healing vibes!
You’re so strong!!! Love this attitude!
Thanks friend!
I feel ya girl! our bodies are so amazing. When you undergo surgery, you learn to appreciate the healing and all. <3 you
You are so right! Hoping you’re recovered from yours friend!
You should totally be proud of yourself! 10 days back in the gym after a super invasive surgery like that?! Holy smokes!!
What you should REALLY be proud of is how you’ve taken the reins and control of your health and your life. Things don’t always go according to plan – Lord knows if they did, I’d be running Marine Corps Marathon in 3 weeks – but you have to adapt and overcome and rise up and meet those challenges head on. And you’ve done that! Keep on rocking it!
Thank you so very much Jennifer! Sometimes I’m really hard on myself and need these kind of reminders. Best of luck to you with what you’re dealing with.
Love it Megan! I told you you were badass and were going to rock this 🙂
That’s some serious shit to go through and I can’t believe you’re already doing so many things after it. Keep on going!
Thanks friend! I needed this reminder. Hopefully, I’ll be walking soon.
It can definitely be hard to love your body when it doesn’t work 100% correctly. But our bodies are also extra worthy of love after all the challenges they undergo!
You’re so right Casey! Loving them is the hardest part.
Hi Megan, I’ve been reading your blog for a ling time…and wanted to tell you that you are an amazingly strong lady! Sending you super fast healing and recovery vibes:-).
That was so sweet Mona. Thank you! I really need to hear that after having a bad day this weekend and THANK YOU for being a loyal reader!