After sharing my HA diagnosis a few months ago, I've been overwhelmed by the number of women who have shared, commented or emailed me about their own hormone issues. To this day, My Battle With Estrogen remains my highest viewed post. When I wrote that post, I never expected to receive the response I did from so many women who are suffering with HA or some form of hormone imbalance. Many of them requested I continue writing about it, but finding the words has been really difficult for me.
It's not something I particularly want to talk about. In fact, part of me is subconciously pushing it under the rug pretending it doesn't exist. I don't want to admit to myself I have to deal with this and that I will eventually have to make lifestyle decisions. It makes me feel weak and I pride myself on being strong. But if my weakness helps another woman going through this or something similar then putting my pride aside is worth talking about it.
So let's talk about The Aftermath of my HA Diagnosis.
Going Off The Pill
You may remember Mayo Clinic put me on that high dose estrogen birth control pill. That pill made me feel awful. I felt as if I had adrenaline running through my body. I was edgy, irritable, unfocused and gained weight. I suffered horrible cramping during my menstrual cycle, heavy bleeding and at times, hemorrhaging. There were a days I couldn't go to work it was so bad.
Being on the pill was horrible and I knew in the back of my mind that I shouldn't be on it. I'd been on the pill since I was 16 and wondered what taking artificial hormones had done to my body over the course of so many years. I also couldn't imagine being on the pill forever either. What am I supposed to do? Take the pill until I'm 80? I felt like it was a bandaid to cover up what was really going on with my body.
So going against medical advice, I took myself off the pill.
After The Pill
Two months after going off the pill, I started feeling like myself again. I was more focused, less irritable and lost weight. My periods are still irregular, painful, spotty and extremely heavy, but with less overall disruption to my life. I feel less crazy! My OBGYM said the abnormalities could be my body trying to regulate itself after being dormant for many years. She assured me I don't need to worry about it. The good news is I am getting a period and my body's doing it on its own.
Going The Natural Route
After feeling frustrated with traditional medicine & being passed around from doctor to doctor, over the summer I saw a naturopath. It was sort of last ditch effort to see if someone else could figure out what was going on with my body. After seeing her, I felt my decision to see her was the best thing I thing I did for my health.
She agreed with my decision to go off the pill was the right one. She also reviewed my labs and while I was no longer estrogen deficient, I was deficient in all other reproductive hormones. She pointed out that I needed proper levels of testosterone and progesterone in my body at various stages of my cycle and mine were simply not working. It confirmed what I felt all along. The pill was only a bandaid for a symptom of something else.
To rebalance my hormones, she had me seed cycle. Seed cycling is a natural way of resetting the body's hormones by eating certain said seeds at different phases of the menstrual cycle. The omegas gently encourage the body to kickstart its natural rhythm. With the exception of 1 month (after the car accident when I was under extreme stress), I've had a period.
The Root Cause
Besides my hormone deficiency, my labs showed other abnormalities. Various organs and hormones showed a decline in function over the course of a year. There were things she noted that no other traditional doctor ever talked to me about and I assume never considered. She told me this has become the new normal and she's seeing more and more patients like me being passed around the medical system not getting answers. In a future post, I'll discuss what she theorized as the root cause of my estrogen deficiency. I'm still undergoing tests to confirm everything.
Stress, The Contributing Factor
With HA, there are three motivating factors: high stress, intense exercise and disordered eating. My naturopath reviewed what and how I was eating and determined my eating was not part of the equation. I was eating enough and eating the right things.
Because of my cycle of injuries, I haven't worked out with the same intensity as I used to in the past so the exercise part of this equation remains to be determined, but I suspect the answer is yes. Our bodies don't know the difference between good stress (i.e. exercise) and bad stress (i.e. work, family, life). I know my life has been incredibly stressful these last few years especially with work. The pressure, intensity, long hours has been immense and I'm sure that along with the stress of exercise contributed to that.
The Scary Reality
It's scary being sick and alone. Most women my age have a husband, a partner to lean on every day. I have no one. No one to support me. No one to take care of me. No one to tell me what to do. I know I have to reduce my stress but I don't know how to do. At least I haven't figure it out yet. I've been too busy recovering from injuries.
It's scary knowing your body is shutting down and feeling like if you don't do something about it that your health will continue to suffer. You feel lost, like you don't know what to do and scared of making a change. I always thought as a kid that being an adult would be so much easier. You could do or be anything you wanted. When did becoming an adult become being scared of living our lives beyond what we know? Either way. It's scary.
We often talk about how HA effects us emotionally and psychologically in terms of our weight, our relationship with food or our exercise habits, but we don't talk about the real truth. How it effects our day to day life and how we're left in ruins to figure them out. Alone. Scared. And uncertain of the future.
do you still seed cycle? I'm battling these struggles right now and trying to stay on a natural approach and seed cycling is on my list but curiojs if you continue after regaining your cycle?
I do not. I did it for 2 years then didn't need it anymore. Now I incorporate the seeds regularly in my diet, but I don't follow the protocol.
Being stressed out and can't seem to find a way to reduce it is the worse it can put you at very bad place,I also thought the pill was to help with hormones issues. really loved this article thanks for sharing!
Hi Megan, I can so feel for your and all you are going through. I have been dealing with chronic illness for the past 4 years and can totally relate the feeling of being alone and isolated. I know much must stress exacerbates the situation but it is so hard to control! It is so hard to get myself to a gentle yoga class but I am always so happy when I do make it and feel the difference in my stress levels. I have also been trying to stick to a meditation practice but it is so hard to be disciplined! Hang in there!
Thank you Liora! I do find that swimming helps me with stress like your yoga does for you. Hopefully there is a light at the end of this tunnel for both of us soon!
Can I just send you hugs today! Thank you for sharing your story with us. I wish I had some stress reducing strategies to share with you but I'm running off of stress 24/7 and it's a scary slippery slope. I'm keeping an eye out for my health through all of this, and am trying to find ways to not stress about things that I can't control. It's hard though. I know this can't be easy to talk about, but thank you for sharing 🙂
You can send me hugs any day! I gladly accept them and I think they're good for reducing stress too!
Going through my diagnosis for Crohn's alone and no family around I can sympathize going through something life changing. I am also though a very private person and don't really tell my parents/sisters the extent of what I go through. Luckily even though I am going through something super stressful in that a year later I am not in remission I am probably the least stressed person ever. I trust in my doctors (after finding the right team) and do what is in my power to be the healthiest ever. I also manage my work/life balance even though working in broadcast operations for 24/7 news is also stressful. I've learned to take control and be accountable for what I can and for those things that I can't (i.e. Crohn's) sure I have my moments of frustration but end of the day I think weeding out what I can control vs what I can't is what has me so balanced.
I also think you being so open is amazing - like you have said sharing your struggle has created a bond and helped so many people not feel alone! Know that everyone is rooting for you!
Thank you Gianna! I'm glad to hear you have a trusted team behind you. I have awesome therapists, but the doctor side seems to be lacking. I get the feeling doctors in Phoenix just have too many patients and don't have the time to give them the right amount of attention. My naturopath has been 100% better so hopefully she will figure things out. I'm glad there are so many people like you who get me and understand what I am going through and that I'm not at my best right now but still sticking by me and cheering me on!
Oh Megan, my heart goes out to you! it is SO scary being sick and alone. I've had so many moments in my life when I felt this exact same way. The pressure to make the right decision, take the right medication, or not, is extremely stressful. So much for lowering stress, right 😉 What's helped me in the past is knowing (and trying really hard to believe) that your body is built to survive. You will get to the bottom of what's going on. I know for me, a lot of the stress surrounding illness is the not knowing- when will this get better, will it ever get better? and the loneliness. I felt empowered when I found a team of (holistic/alternative) professionals- ND or MD, accupuncturist, nutritionist- that way, I didn't feel like it was all on me. Sounds like you're already doing this. It also has helped me to reach out to friends. Even texting about what's going on helps. Social support is so key. That said, it's completely overwhelming when you're in the middle of the storm! It will get easier, I promise.
The when will it get better has been the worst for me. I get better, then I get hurt or sick. The same cycle for two years. I believe it's my body's way of saying I just need to take a step back and focus on getting well and eliminate as much stress as I can. Thanks for your positive outlook & sincerity lady!
Stress has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember, and it's caused me more issues than I can count... including a couple legit nervous breakdowns that took me a good 6 months to recover from. I haven't been able to reduce the amount of stress I have in my life, really, but I've learned to think about things differently so they don't stress me out -as- much. At the end of the day, what helped the most was learning not to stress about things that I can't control or change. Stressing and worrying doesn't help or change anything, and it only makes things more difficult.
That is really good advice Amanda. I'm always stressing about all the what if's. So many times I've looked back and thought why was I stressed about that? I got myself worked up for nothing! I need to keep your perspective more lady!
It's amazing how sensitive our bodies are. Even the littlest things can have an insane systemic impact. Stress is a big killer, and it's so hard to learn how to control it. I have regular transcendental meditation (which take a lot of discipline to get on a roll with) and L-tryptophan to thank for keeping me sane. Especially during stressful life times / that time of the month!
It's scary how quickly are bodies tumble when they are sick. One of my friends swears by meditation. I can never get my thoughts to stop long enough to get into it. Something I would like to achieve someday though. Would love to hear your tips sometime!
Hi Megan! Isn't it amazing that you putting your struggles out there has brought so many people to you with similar problems? I must say that you did the right thing by going with your gut and seeking alternative treatment. Thank you for sharing with us, and know that you're definitely helping others in the process. Stress. Oh stress. It will always be there, but perhaps you can figure out the best way to trick your body into thinking there's none!
It was certainly unexpected reaction, but I think sometimes the more personal things have the biggest effect yes? Thanks for your support lady!
Your last paragraphs on the "Scary Reality," took the words right out of my heart. What you said is exactly how I'm feeling, although I haven't been able to find the words to describe it. So scared. Scared of what may happen yet scared to make a change. Thank you so much for sharing your honesty and your feelings. You are not alone.
It is scary! I don't think people realize the fear that comes with it. I know my injuries are a result of all this & I keep thinking if I continue down this path what will happen next to my body? Thank you for telling me I am not alone because I really do feel alone.
I have a really hard time controlling my stress too. It leads me to anxiety attacks, especially at night. I also have HA and have not had a period in over 5 years. I have never managed to get it under control. I am super intrigued by the seed cycling.
You should give it a try. It certainly wouldn't hurt!
Man being an adult is so not what it's cracked up to be. Stress is inevitable the older you get. I have been doing all sorts of things to help me destress. I run, I do yoga, I read, and I color to destress. Yep coloring has actually became one of my favorite things to do when I have spare time. It's an adult coloring book I got on Amazon. Seriously I loose track of time when I am coloring.
Writing, blogging & reading helps me destress. Unfortunately life doesn't give me as much time as I want to do those things so it makes me resent them even more. I like your coloring method! That actually sounds like something I would like doing as well.
We talked about this, and that I have some similar issues. Unfortunately, I also have another underlying condition and a family medical history that pretty much guaranteed that I would have issues. THANKS MOM. I will be very insterested to see what we do about me getting preg. Very interested indeed. Stress was the reason that I lost my period and then didn't get it back for 3.5 years (and that was synthetic, anyway). But I can't stress about what is/isn't going on with my body--I just have to fight the battles that I can!
well you know i am here for BOTH You two! because it's a similar reality. hormones are no joke. Stress is no joke. gut health,... OYE!
And WE are here to be a support team for each other. <3 you
I'm so glad we have each other. <3 you back!
Yes stressing about it more certainly adds more stress to the fire. It can be a vicious cycle which is why I want out of it.
Stress reduction feels impossible to me, I know I'm lucky not to have problems now but sometimes I feel like something has to give! You will definitely reach a lot of women reading this who are going through a similar thing. I also agree staying away from the pill is smart since it covers up reality.
You know my doctor mentioned that the longer term effects of using the pill hasn't been studied all that well. Kind of scary!