"My dear, you're having a total hip replacement." As the nurse on the other end of the phone said those words to me, I felt like someone punched a sword through my heart. "But I'm too young for a hip replacement" I whispered to myself.
I've been living with AVN for 18 years. While staying active and losing weight has taken my prognosis of needing a replacement from 6 months to 18 years and has helped me manage the pain, there are still days when I'm in so much pain I don't even want to get out of bed or live.
My life revolves around my hip
I'm constantly reminded I have a chronic illness when people ask why I limp. I don't need to be reminded why I limp because I'm constantly reminded every day when I can't get in and out of a car, sit down on a toilet like I normal person, or stand on my feet in the kitchen too long because my quad aches from nothing supporting it.
Having faith is hard.
There are days that truthfully, I'd rather be dead than living with this and being faced with joint replacements the rest of my life. I remind myself that no matter how much I want to wish this away I can't. I have to face it, move forward the best way possible and have faith that I will be able to live my life as fully and happily as I want to.
But it's hard.
Hard knowing I will never run, jump, climb and do things so many other people can do. Hard knowing my body is physically capable of more, much more. But that I will forever have limits. Hard watching people who can do the things I want to do, make excuses not to do them.
Too young for a hip replacement
Now as I'm faced with surgery tomorrow, I can't help but think at 38 years old how ashamed and embarrassed I am.
Hip replacements are for old people, not young, healthy, active women like me.
I keep thinking how they're going to saw my leg off during the surgery and remove it from my body. A part of my body I was born with that I will can get back. I will forever and always have something unnatural in my body I wasn't born with that I will always depend on for my independence.
What kind of person am I with a fake hip?
Recognizing I'm too young for a hip replacement makes me feel weak, less attractive, and less beautiful than a woman should made to feel. I can't help but wonder what man will ever want someone like me with a fake hip. A hip that will need to be replaced multiple times throughout her life. I'm not even sure I want to be with me. How could I expect someone else to want me if I can't even be accepting of who I am? I don't know if I'll ever be able to except that this is happening.
Will I be as strong?
Every time I go for a walk I wonder is this going to be my last walk? Every time I teach a spin class, I wonder will I be able to teach again? Every time I teach swim lessons, I wonder will I still be able to swim?Every time I lift a weight, I wonder will I be this strong again?
Mostly I wonder am I really going to feel better after going through all this? How long is this hip going to last me until I need a new one? What if I can't do all the things I can do now? I can't bear the thought of not being able to be active the way I am now.
Finding consolation
These last months these thoughts have more than consumed me. Finally, I reached out to friends to talk about how I was feeling one of whom was Suz.
She suffers from Crohn's disease and said something to me that for the first time ever made my future feel hopeful. She told me about patients who've lost their colons and have pouches. How those people have lost something. Something they will never get back.
While I may be losing something, I'm gaining something. I'm gaining less pain, more mobility and hopefully, gaining a better quality of life.
For you
For whatever struggle you may be going through, I want you to know you're not alone an I want you to think about what you could be gaining from this.
Life doesn't always hand us what we want in a pretty box with a pretty bow. Life is messy, confusing and at times, not what we want.
You have to fight to be healthy. Every. Single. Day. You have to be willing to embrace life's challenges and turn them into something positive.
Life may be filled with disappointment, heart ache, embarrassment, hurt and shame, and I may be too young for a hip replacement but honestly, I wouldn't want to live any other life.
Related: What To Expect Recovering From A Hip Replacement
Disclaimer - the advice in this post is general advice. It's not intended to treat or diagnose. As a health care professional, I cannot give individual medical advice unless you are a patient of mine. This is for legal reasons and to protect your health. I am NOT an orthopedic doctor. DO NOT send me your x-rays or medical information. I CANNOT provide you with specific advice.
Hi! I know this is an older post but! I’m almost 27 and I have hip dysplasia in both my hips! My right hip was replaced in March of 2019. I have lived with this pain since middle school (but apparently was born this way) and I have felt all of these emotions! I feel you girl! I sometimes forget I have it replaced cause he did such a good job! Can’t wait for my left one to be pain free! Bionic life for life
I know this is an old post, but I'm 28 with avascular necrosis, and I want surgery. I was told I'm too young for surgery. While I partially understand the reasons, I don't understand why the surgeon doesn't consider my quality of life. I can barely play with my 2.5 year old daughter. Carrying her is the most painful thing. I can't do the job I love, and don't know what job to have because I can't be on my feet. It's devastating. I want to just be a person. I'm missing out on the very important years of my life, and the surgeon doesn't seem to understand that.
Shop around for a new doctor! I saw 12 doctors before I found one who listened to me.
Dear Megan, i just saw your story and its incredible , i have avn in both hips ( stage 3rd and 2nd ) and my age is 27 now, should i go for hip replacement at this age or wait until collapse , now i can walk normally but pain is there , My question is , did you both hip replaced or one ? actually i am from india and here is ceramic and non ceramic hip implants , can you give me more info about robotic anterior hip replacement ?
Hi Dhiraj, I had a hip replacement in my right hip only. I am not an orthopedic physician so I cannot give you medical advice about your situation. I recommend you ask your doctor these questions! All the best, Megan
Hi there, I really appreciated reading this because I can relate. I am 32 years old and I am scheduled for a hip replacement next month. I am so worried about what it's going to be like the rest of my life. Once upon a time I was the captain of my college water polo team, was a triathlete, and worked out between 3-4 hours a day. Running was part of my mental therapy. Now I am told I should never run again. It seems so unfair, and I blame myself for this diagnosis. How have you coped since your surgery? Does it get better? What do you do for fitness now?
Did you read the follow-up post that's linked at the bottom of this one? I answer those questions there! https://skinnyfitalicious.com/recovering-from-a-hip-replacement/
I was diagnosed with avn this week. I was crushed. I have been thinking all along the pain was a simple labrum tear. Did physical therapy. When the pain didn't go away I went to a specialist at UVA. the orthapedic surgeon was speechless as was I when he reviewed the xrays. 40 years old. Need a full left hip replacement. I wake up every day and feel as if iam in a bad dream. I found this post and it gave me hope! I have an appointment Aug 9th with my new dr that will be doing the replacement. Any suggestions on type of hardware. I am very active doing crossfit and outdoor activities. I chase a 5 and 8 year old around constantly as well. Lol
Very sorry to hear about your experience and I'm so glad mine gave you hope. I am not an orthopedic surgeon so I have NO IDEA about the hardware. You should speak to your ortho about that. I did speak to what I had done in this post: https://skinnyfitalicious.com/recovering-from-a-hip-replacement/
Wishing you all the best.
Hello Megan, let me just start off saying you are so inspiring. Im so happy for you and your strength. I was diagnosed with AVN of my right hip November 2017. I had the Decompression with stem cells the following month of December. Unfortunately, the surgery did not work. I will share a quick summary of my health history. I was diagnosed with Colitis on November 2015. Soon after in December 2016 I was diagnosed with Chronic Idiopathic hives. They did tons of tests and couldn't figure out why I had hives. Unfortunately, the only treatment that worked was Prednisone. My husband and I never knew how critical this medication is on your body. I bounced around doctor to doctor. When I went to Mayo the doctor was shocked on how long I been on this medication. They slowly Weiner me off and my very last day of the medication was July 2017. I felt amazing until November 2017. I was getting ready for work and fell to the ground and had to be taken by ambulance. We found out it was AVN of my right hip. Like I said surgery was the following month but it was not successful. After surgery around February 2018 I started getting chest pains and dizziness (doctor said it was from being on Prednisone so long). I had tachycardia with fainting. I could even walk to the bathroom without my heart rate beating to 180. I was so weak being ill now three years and no activity, work, or anything. I had to sit inside the house. This caused me to get severe depression and anxiety which I'm working on now. I'm unable to lose the Prednisone weight due to inactivity. The only thing holding me back is my AVN. I try to moderate my activity and will be good for 2 weeks top and that's stretching it. So now I'm so weak I can't walk long, my arms and legs shake. My Dr doesn't want to do THR because I'm only 28 but I've been ill since 25. We are going to try Mayo. I just don't know what to do? I guess my question is am I to young? My quality in life is horrible.
Get another doctor. I went to Mayo Clinic in Minnesota when I was first diagnosed at 22 and the doctors were jerks. Told me to prepare myself for a life in a wheelchair. In 2015, I saw a Mayo Clinic orthopedic in Phoenix who gave the same story about not having the surgery bc I was too young. But it had gotten so bad I knew it wasn't possible to wait longer. So I shopped around and "interviewed" 8 orthopedics before I found mine in Scottsdale who was like this is ridiculous that those doctors told you this. I knew he was the one because he LISTENED to me and wasn't reading from a textbook. He does minimally invasive THR robotically and said no matter what age I had the THR that I was always going to need multiple revisions during my lifetime which made so much sense. By then my quality of life had gotten so bad I just knew I had to do what was right for me. Doctors DO NOT know everything. You have to take back your life. I've said this over and over again in the comments in the post that having my THR was the BEST DECISION I EVER MADE AND I REGRET NOT DOING IT SOONER. It surprises me I continue to get questions like yours on what to do. If it's bad, do the surgery. That simple! As for the weight, you do not need to exercise to lose weight. You need to eat fewer calories then your body needs. Weight loss is about what you eat. Not what you do.
Hi, I realise this article is not a new one, but I have found it anyway. I have found it while resting in my second week after having a full left hip replacement. I am 39. My arthritis was so bad that I was hobbling round like an old lady. I still have mixed feelings about having it done, but it's done. Yes, I was on a ward with old ladies. Yes, they were surprised to see me there, but we're full of support when I told them why. No one wants to live in pain, and I did it so I could be the active mum I want to be for my two daughters. I have no regrets at all. I hope your experience was a good one and worth it. Sending regards from England xx
Hi Rosalind! Thanks for writing. I hope you're feeling okay! I actually wrote about my experience and recovery in this post: https://skinnyfitalicious.com/recovering-from-a-hip-replacement/
Hi I am 18 years old and I just had a hip replacement on June 13. I felt many of the same things that you felt. It was crazy thinking a piece of my body was gone forever. I am still recovering now, but I can say that I have a lot less pain than I used to. It was very devastating to me because I am a softball player I’ve played since I was 11 and to think that I may never be able to play the way I used to is still really hard. I hope that I’ll be able to be an active and semi normal teenager once I’m recovered. Considering before I had the surgery i couldn’t even tie my shoes anymore or put my socks on by myself I hope these things change. Being so young and having to have a hip replacement wasn’t easy, but I know that this is just a part of my journey. I would love to get my story out there and inspire others.
Thank you so much for writing this I am sitting in my car reading it. And bawling my eyes out. I am too in need of hip replacement. I'm older than you 46. But they still want to wait. Even though it reaping havoc on the rest of my body. I don't push the issue like people tell me to. Because it's scary I hear all the time you have to be your own advocate. Blah Blah blah. To get I done sooner. I am so torn. But like you said everyday is a struggle. I used to be active but with my physical job. That's all I can do to get through the day. I have 2 young children and it's breaks my heart I can't chase them. Or thier mom is always miserable. Everyone always asking why I limp. Most have good intentions but it's a constant reminder. Like the pain isn't reminder enough. I had an 80 year old customer at my work offer his cane. Said it looked like I needed it more than him. . I would love to hear more about your recovery.
Hi there, do not wait. It gave me my quality of life back. Something doctors don't understand. Here is the follow-up post: https://skinnyfitalicious.com/recovering-from-a-hip-replacement/
HI I am 46 and had been in chronic pain for the past 5-6 years with osteoarthritis of both hips some of it is genetics other is how athletic I was as a child, go figure! But I was tired of living my life in pain, losing out on playing with my kids, and just losing mobility in my legs. I did much research and totally switched my primary care doctor and hospital to go to a surgeon whom only specialized in anterior hip replacement. I am so glad I did because I just had my second hip replaced after 3 months from the last one and I am living my life again AND pain free!!!
My only regret is I didn't listen to my instinct and do the research and get it done sooner. Unfortunately other orthopedic surgeons 3 to be exact said I was too young, would need to lose weight first so of course I went by what they said not really taking my health into my own hands and seeking out other opinions.
My advice to anyone that has chronic joint pain don't wait! Seek out the right specialist and take care of yourself now!!
This post made so much sense to me. I had my first hip replaced when I was 35. I am now 37 and in the process of scheduling my other hip. I find myself feeling the same things I did two years ago. I had every one of these thoughts and my life is consumed by my hip. Thank you for your words and the reminder of how strong we can be.
I'm so glad it helped you. I honestly haven't thought about my future revisions and surgeries until you mentioned it. I imagine I will feel the same as you do once I'm going through it again. It's hard to go through, but so worth it and we are stronger than we know!
Im 37 & having hip replacement in 2 weeks. Thank you for this article. . its helped me to better accept this big change in life!
Megan! I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I can't imagine the emotional and physical pain you have been going through. I just wanted to echo what Suzy said and say that my experience from working in hospitals has made me realize that health issues, even devastating ones, can happen to us at any age. Do NOT feel embarrassed or ashamed!
I also think on the flip side of the anger and sadness that these situations can make us feel, it is also amazing to think of all of the advances in medicine, technology and biomedical engineering that give people the opportunity to continue to enjoy life despite a health setback. One of my best friends has ulcerative colitis (similar symptoms to Crohn's) and she just had a permanent ileostomy bag placed last month. She is 30, newly married and my heart completely broke for her. But now that she is through surgery, she says she feels so relieved to not be in pain anymore and feels like she can get back to living and happy life.
I hope everything with your recovery goes well and that you are back to doing what you love as soon as possible!!
Thank you for sharing that Sam. It's funny how when it's happening to you, you have blinders on to the things happening around you. Now that it's been a week post operative, I can fully say I am 100% better with a hip replacement. I was scared to do, but I truly believe this will give me a better life. That is, if I can ever stop all this crazy swelling. 🙂