Why Losing Weight Doesn’t Fix Food Problems

Today we’re talking about why just losing weight doesn’t fix your issues with food. It doesn’t fix your all or nothing mindset. It doesn’t fix the fact that you talk to yourself in a negative way. It amplifies all of those issues. Losing weight makes all of those issues 1000 times so just losing weight, just being in a calorie deficit, just tracking your calories fixes nothing because if you’re here listening to this podcast what I know as somebody who used to be 215 pounds and also has coached a lot of women over the last 11 years (I’ve coached 1000 clients at this point) and you start to see the same patterns and problems that people are struggling with over and over and over and over and over again. The thing I see is women thinking that if they just lose weight that that’s going to magically solve all their problems and everything is going to be
Go away now when you lose weight and you have a bad relationship with food, you’re an all or nothing person, you talk to yourself like a jerk, you have emotional eating and stress eating patterns, or maybe you self-sabotage a lot if those things are going on they’re going to get a lot worse while you’re losing weight and even much worse (1000, a million times worst) when you try to lose weight and this is what a lot of people don’t understand because they’re always just chasing weight loss and not actually fixing what’s causing the weight gain in the first place so they could lose weight and keep it off because listen…
If you’re a woman over 35 who’s struggled to lose weight for a while now, and maybe even feels like you’re constantly starting over with weight loss—losing weight, gaining it back, or trying to lose weight and giving up after a few days, weeks or months and wondering what you’re doing wrong—this episode is for you. Because the truth is, it’s not your willpower, it’s not your discipline, or even the food itself that’s the problem. There’s something deeper going on that most women completely overlook.
In today’s episode, we’re talking about why weight loss doesn’t actually fix your struggles with food—it exposes them. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling more hungry, more obsessed with food, more all-or-nothing, or more frustrated the moment you try to “be good” and lose weight, there’s a reason for that. And understanding this could be the missing piece that finally helps you stop the cycle of dieting for good.
We’re going to break down why trying to jump straight into a calorie deficit often backfires, what foundational pieces you need to have in place first, and how to know if you’re actually ready to lose weight in a way that you can maintain. Because if your goal isn’t just to lose weight—but to keep it off—then this conversation is one you can’t afford to miss! So, let’s dive in…
Weight loss does not fix problem. It exposes all the problems. Assume whatever struggles with food you have are only going to be amplified when you go to lose weight. That means if you struggle with regulating hunger, food noise, feel guilt and shame from eating certain foods, feel uncontrolled around certain foods, have an all or nothing mindset around nutrition and exercise, have a pattern of subconscious self-sabotage, emotional and stress eating, whatever you struggle with is going to get amplified when you go to lose weight. You are pouring gasoline on the fire when you to go lose weight.
This is reason number one why you must build a solid foundation before losing weight because right now you have cracks in your foundation. Think of it like a staircase. Most women are down at the bottom of the staircase going, I’m unhappy with how I look and feel. I think I’m ready to lose weight and do something about this. But what would happen if you went from the bottom of the stairs and jumped up three, four, five or six steps and once to try to get to the top step as fast as possible? The problem is you would fall or you would jump and hurt yourself.
Most women are doing this when it comes to losing weight. They go, I’m ready to lose weight, and then all the sudden, they’re trying to bypass all these steps that have to come first and that’s why hunger gets worse, food noise gets worse, emotional eating gets worse and you end up self-sabotaging.
Because step number one before going into a calorie deficit to lose weight is fixing your relationship with food. Then fixing emotional eating. Then fixing food noise. Then fixing all or nothing mindset. Then fixing self-sabotage patterns. Then fixing self-talk because self-talk drives your behaviors and how consistently you do behaviors and show up for yourself.
These are pre-requisites to losing weight and I know you probably don’t want to hear that. You just want to get to the losing weight part, but if you have all these cracks in your foundation then even if you do lose weight, you’re coming back to a bad foundation.
These issues all get amplified when you start tracking calories and try to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight. A lot of women are trying to bypass the order of operations and jump ahead. I hope this makes it more clear to you on why you keep falling off and why you start off strong, but then something happens and everything falls apart. It’s because you’re taking a running start and trying to bypass all these steps to land in fat loss and you’re just not ready yet.
Reason number two is you can’t out diet your own psychology. Think of your weight loss journey like building a house. What if all the sudden the foundation of that house is cracked then it’s just a matter of time before different issues start to creep up. It is no different when it comes to your weight loss journey. Imagine if you were just pouring time, money and resources into decorating your house, getting new furniture and painting the interior, but the drywall has cracks in it. The roof is leaking. The floor is bubbling up from water in the foundation. All the sudden the house is falling apart and you’re sitting there going, wait, why is this happening? I have new decorations. I have new paint. I have not furniture. It’s not because those things are wrong. It’s because the house has foundational issues. We may have to look at your approach to losing weight to see if your approach is even one that’s sustainable, but assuming it is sustainable if you put weight loss on top of a broken foundation you will end up in struggle, food noise, and self-sabotage.
If you were building a new home and you saw all these issues with the foundation, you would put off moving into that home and putting the furniture in it and stop the painting and decorating. You would fix all those cracks and then once the house was stable, you would move in and do all those things. It is no different when it comes to your weight loss journey.
I have seen many clients in the last 11 years who have these foundational issues going on and they’re spiraling mentally. They need to lose weight right now they will tell me. They will say I need to track calories. I need to start losing weight, and I always explain to them that tracking calories won’t fix self-sabotage. Tracking calories won’t fix an all or nothing mindset or a bad relationship with food. It will just make those issues worse. You will feel mentally crazy because you have these underlying issues going on which will make tracking food and eating in a calorie deficit extremely difficult and you will beat yourself up and quit.
The women who get the worst results and are most likely to quit are always the ones who rush to track calories and eating in a calorie deficit before they are ready. I’ve seen it several times coaching clients. I can’t stop a client from doing those things. I can only be a voice of reason and ask a lot of questions to guide them into realizing on their own that tracking calories and a calorie deficit won’t help them. It will only make things worse.
That is one of the most challenging parts of my job. Helping women understand they are not ready to be losing weight yet and why it’s so important to fix the foundation issues before tracking calories and losing weight. Some clients will say things like “I’ve been doing this for 8 months and haven’t lost weight.” My response is you have not been in a calorie deficit for 8 months, but here’s all the ways you have made progress.
It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. A lot of women think when they’re working on their mindset, their protein and fiber, their steps, their strength training, their relationship with food and emotional eating that they should be losing weight. No, you shouldn’t because you still need to work on the calorie deficit piece which comes last in this process and if you don’t work on whatever you struggle with first, it will only get much worse once you start working on a calorie deficit and tracking your calories. But it demonstrates how diet culture has really messed up a lot of women’s brains and their expectations of what should be happening when they are doing habits to take care of their health.
Trust me, if there were a faster way where you could bypass dealing with the foundational issues you struggle with and just take you right to losing weight someone would have already sold it to you and you would not be listening to me and I would not have a job. This is why many women are in the perpetual land of always needing to lose weight again and again and again and again throughout their lives because they are not fixing what’s actually broken foundationally before losing weight. I mean what’s the point of losing weight if you can’t keep your weight loss results and then you need to lose weight again?
And that leads me to the third reason which is maintenance because losing weight and keeping weight off are two different skills. I’m assuming if you’re hear listening to me, you’re not happy with how you look and how you feel, and you want to get healthier, fitter, stronger, lose weight and keep those weight loss results. I’m guessing you don’t want to stay in the world of losing weight and dieting the rest of your life. If that’s the case, then we have to make sure you’re able to maintain before you lose weight.
If you struggle being consistent, being on again, off again, if you struggle with having good habits during the day, but then you fall off at night, or you struggle with having good habits during the week then struggle on the weekends, you hide your emotions with food, you guilt and shame yourself over the types of foods you eat, or you go into a calorie deficit phase and you have patterns of quitting every time a challenge is thrown your way then you’re not ready quite yet.
Because even if you were to go into a calorie deficit to lose weight and you did lose your weight, but you never build the foundational skill sets around maintaining where you are at right now and having peace of mind with food while going through your day to day life with great habits, you will just find yourself back at square one. I’m just being honest with you. I’ve had hundreds of consult calls with women over the last 11 years, and I cannot tell you how many women have said, Megan, I don’t understand. I lost 20 or 30 pounds and as soon as I went back to normal, I gained all my weight back. Then I went on a diet again and lost weight again and gained it back again. And now, I find myself not even wanting to go on the diet because I’ve done this so many times. And they did this for the next 10, 20, 30 years of their lives before talking to me in a consultation.
You cannot just temporarily out diet shitty habits, zero foundation, your crappy mindset, your lack of nutrition and exercise skills and expect to maintain progress. Like I said, what’s the point of losing weight if you don’t get to keep your results? Seriously, what is the point of going through all the work and effort of losing weight if your weight just comes back. At some point, you must be honest with yourself that you can no longer bypass fixing the cracks in your foundation. Because the only person you’re hurting is yourself.
So, after hearing all this, the question to ask yourself is, are you ready to lose weight yet?
Because if you check all these boxes: the poor relationship with food, emotional eating, all or nothing mindset, negative self-talk, guilt and shame with food, food noise, self-sabotage patterns then no, you’re not ready to lose weight yet. We have to fix these things first and no, you’re not broken so don’t feel bad. Now you know exactly what you need to address. Reframe your mindset from feeling bad and feeling like you’re broken to now I know what I need to fix to lose weight. We just have to fix your foundation first, that’s it.
This is exactly what I help my 1:1 clients with because nobody comes to me saying they never heard of a calorie deficit or about protein or fiber or hearing about steps and exercise. That stuff is never the issue. Knowing is not the issue. Doing consistently is the issue and in order to do those things consistently to feel better and lose weight, we must address the underlying issues blocking you from doing those things consistently.
This is why I have specific systems in place and a long-term roadmap to help my 1:1 clients go through the steps to fix their relationship with food, solve what’s causing their hunger, help them with mindful eating strategies and food noise so that they aren’t obsessing about food and feeling guilt and shame with food.
I pull clients out of a deficit who start working with me and rather I start working with them to maximize how much their eating without gaining weight first and help guide them to build a way of eating that makes room for their favorite foods. And then to tie this altogether, I work with them on their brain and mindset so we can get to the bottom of what is blocking them from doing healthy behaviors. We want results to stay for good not just have this be something you did this one time and went back to where you started.
So, if you’re done starting over and gaining the weight back and you realize you have to fix what’s broken before dieting, but you’re not sure how to do this on your own then schedule a consultation with me so we can see if I can help. In that consultation, I will go over your diet history with you, what you’ve tried, what you’re struggling with and what I see are gaps for you and how I can help you with that. You can schedule that free consultation with me using the link in the show notes.