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“My dear, you’re having a total hip replacement.” As the nurse on the other end of the phone said those words to me, I felt like someone punched a sword through my heart. “But I’m too young for a hip replacement” I whispered to myself.
I’ve been living with AVN for 18 years. While staying active and losing weight has taken my prognosis of needing a replacement from 6 months to 18 years and has helped me manage the pain, there are still days when I’m in so much pain I don’t even want to get out of bed or live.
My life revolves around my hip
I’m constantly reminded I have a chronic illness when people ask why I limp. I don’t need to be reminded why I limp because I’m constantly reminded every day when I can’t get in and out of a car, sit down on a toilet like I normal person, or stand on my feet in the kitchen too long because my quad aches from nothing supporting it.
Having faith is hard.
There are days that truthfully, I’d rather be dead than living with this and being faced with joint replacements the rest of my life. I remind myself that no matter how much I want to wish this away I can’t. I have to face it, move forward the best way possible and have faith that I will be able to live my life as fully and happily as I want to.
But it’s hard.
Hard knowing I will never run, jump, climb and do things so many other people can do. Hard knowing my body is physically capable of more, much more. But that I will forever have limits. Hard watching people who can do the things I want to do, make excuses not to do them.
Too young for a hip replacement
Now as I’m faced with surgery tomorrow, I can’t help but think at 38 years old how ashamed and embarrassed I am.
Hip replacements are for old people, not young, healthy, active women like me.
I keep thinking how they’re going to saw my leg off during the surgery and remove it from my body. A part of my body I was born with that I will can get back. I will forever and always have something unnatural in my body I wasn’t born with that I will always depend on for my independence.
What kind of person am I with a fake hip?
Recognizing I’m too young for a hip replacement makes me feel weak, less attractive, and less beautiful than a woman should made to feel. I can’t help but wonder what man will ever want someone like me with a fake hip. A hip that will need to be replaced multiple times throughout her life. I’m not even sure I want to be with me. How could I expect someone else to want me if I can’t even be accepting of who I am? I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to except that this is happening.
Will I be as strong?
Every time I go for a walk I wonder is this going to be my last walk? Every time I teach a spin class, I wonder will I be able to teach again? Every time I teach swim lessons, I wonder will I still be able to swim?Every time I lift a weight, I wonder will I be this strong again?
Mostly I wonder am I really going to feel better after going through all this? How long is this hip going to last me until I need a new one? What if I can’t do all the things I can do now? I can’t bear the thought of not being able to be active the way I am now.
Finding consolation
These last months these thoughts have more than consumed me. Finally, I reached out to friends to talk about how I was feeling one of whom was Suz.
She suffers from Crohn’s disease and said something to me that for the first time ever made my future feel hopeful. She told me about patients who’ve lost their colons and have pouches. How those people have lost something. Something they will never get back.
While I may be losing something, I’m gaining something. I’m gaining less pain, more mobility and hopefully, gaining a better quality of life.
For you
For whatever struggle you may be going through, I want you to know you’re not alone an I want you to think about what you could be gaining from this.
Life doesn’t always hand us what we want in a pretty box with a pretty bow. Life is messy, confusing and at times, not what we want.
You have to fight to be healthy. Every. Single. Day. You have to be willing to embrace life’s challenges and turn them into something positive.
Life may be filled with disappointment, heart ache, embarrassment, hurt and shame, and I may be too young for a hip replacement but honestly, I wouldn’t want to live any other life.
Related: What To Expect Recovering From A Hip Replacement
Disclaimer – the advice in this post is general advice. It’s not intended to treat or diagnose. As a health care professional, I cannot give individual medical advice unless you are a patient of mine. This is for legal reasons and to protect your health. I am NOT an orthopedic doctor. DO NOT send me your x-rays or medical information. I CANNOT provide you with specific advice.
Thank you so much for writing this I am sitting in my car reading it. And bawling my eyes out. I am too in need of hip replacement. I’m older than you 46. But they still want to wait. Even though it reaping havoc on the rest of my body. I don’t push the issue like people tell me to. Because it’s scary I hear all the time you have to be your own advocate. Blah Blah blah. To get I done sooner. I am so torn. But like you said everyday is a struggle. I used to be active but with my physical job. That’s all I can do to get through the day. I have 2 young children and it’s breaks my heart I can’t chase them. Or thier mom is always miserable. Everyone always asking why I limp. Most have good intentions but it’s a constant reminder. Like the pain isn’t reminder enough. I had an 80 year old customer at my work offer his cane. Said it looked like I needed it more than him. . I would love to hear more about your recovery.
Hi there, do not wait. It gave me my quality of life back. Something doctors don’t understand. Here is the follow-up post: https://skinnyfitalicious.com/recovering-from-a-hip-replacement/
HI I am 46 and had been in chronic pain for the past 5-6 years with osteoarthritis of both hips some of it is genetics other is how athletic I was as a child, go figure! But I was tired of living my life in pain, losing out on playing with my kids, and just losing mobility in my legs. I did much research and totally switched my primary care doctor and hospital to go to a surgeon whom only specialized in anterior hip replacement. I am so glad I did because I just had my second hip replaced after 3 months from the last one and I am living my life again AND pain free!!!
My only regret is I didn’t listen to my instinct and do the research and get it done sooner. Unfortunately other orthopedic surgeons 3 to be exact said I was too young, would need to lose weight first so of course I went by what they said not really taking my health into my own hands and seeking out other opinions.
My advice to anyone that has chronic joint pain don’t wait! Seek out the right specialist and take care of yourself now!!
This post made so much sense to me. I had my first hip replaced when I was 35. I am now 37 and in the process of scheduling my other hip. I find myself feeling the same things I did two years ago. I had every one of these thoughts and my life is consumed by my hip. Thank you for your words and the reminder of how strong we can be.
I’m so glad it helped you. I honestly haven’t thought about my future revisions and surgeries until you mentioned it. I imagine I will feel the same as you do once I’m going through it again. It’s hard to go through, but so worth it and we are stronger than we know!
Im 37 & having hip replacement in 2 weeks. Thank you for this article. . its helped me to better accept this big change in life!
Megan! I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. I can’t imagine the emotional and physical pain you have been going through. I just wanted to echo what Suzy said and say that my experience from working in hospitals has made me realize that health issues, even devastating ones, can happen to us at any age. Do NOT feel embarrassed or ashamed!
I also think on the flip side of the anger and sadness that these situations can make us feel, it is also amazing to think of all of the advances in medicine, technology and biomedical engineering that give people the opportunity to continue to enjoy life despite a health setback. One of my best friends has ulcerative colitis (similar symptoms to Crohn’s) and she just had a permanent ileostomy bag placed last month. She is 30, newly married and my heart completely broke for her. But now that she is through surgery, she says she feels so relieved to not be in pain anymore and feels like she can get back to living and happy life.
I hope everything with your recovery goes well and that you are back to doing what you love as soon as possible!!
Thank you for sharing that Sam. It’s funny how when it’s happening to you, you have blinders on to the things happening around you. Now that it’s been a week post operative, I can fully say I am 100% better with a hip replacement. I was scared to do, but I truly believe this will give me a better life. That is, if I can ever stop all this crazy swelling. 🙂
Hi there!
I came across your post in doing some googling on young hip replacements. I am 27 and my left THR is scheduled for next month. I can definitely identify with the feelings of frustration and loss. Instead I try to focus on the positive and remember how lucky I am to live in a time when this procedure is available, a country where I have access to it, and with a job that provides health insurance to have it done. If any of these things were different, I know my future would be much scarier, and this is a reality for many.
How are you recovering? Hope you are feeling better each day.
Lisa
Hey Lisa, thanks for writing! I had mine done anterior last week. I’m so happy I looked for a doctor who would do it from the front instead of the back. The recovery is much faster and I feel great. In fact, I’m in so much less pain now than before the surgery. It’s like a miracle! The only issue really has been the swelling. I would be walking unassisted if I could get that better under control. Keeping the hip elevated is sort of tricky. Is this your first replacement? I wish you all the best!
Thinking of you girl! I know this is scary, but to live a life with less pain, that is worth it right? I was born breech and my hips were completely out of socket when I was born. I struggle wtih hip issues as well and have to avoid things like running because my hips just can’t take it. So sorry you have to go through this 🙁
Thanks friend! Things went very well and I am recovery well this weekend. I can’t believe how good I feel today. And thank you for sharing your story. The hardest part of this has been feeling like I’m alone with something only older people go through. It helps knowing I am not alone!
Best of luck!! Sickness doesn’t know age unfortunately :/ “There is always some one worse off then me” is what i think when i start to complain.
You are so right and thank you! Things went very well.
Hi Megan
9 months ago, at the age of 32 and after 6 other surgeries on my hips due to hip dysplasia… i had my first hip replacement. Do not be worried!! I can do more now than I have done in a long while!!!!! Less pain, more exercise. Granted, no more running, but had to stop that 10 years ago. No one believes me when I tell them I had a hip replacement…lol.
You will be pleased with the results… and remember, your only limits are the ones you set yourself. Good Luck. Xx
Thank you Alexandra for telling me this! I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear someone my age say everything turned out fine and for the better. That is my hope in doing this. That I will be able to do so much more. And I learned a long time ago, I can do anything I want no matter what doctors say so I’m with you girl!
Prolotherapy at Caring Medical in Chicago or Fort Meyers FL. I was told I needed a new hip and after 8 treatments I am 95 percent pain free. Email Danielle or Dr. Houser worth a shot
My surgery is tomorrow morning so it’s too late for that. My hip is already displaced and I’ve lost 2 cm in length so it’s necessary at this point.