Are you calorie counting your way to no where? Have you been using My Fitness Pal or another app for the last 5, 10 years on and off and have no weight loss to show for it?
This Dish On Ditching Diets podcast episode is definitely a must listen for you!
Women over 35 commonly tell me in my nutrition practice that they've been calorie counting or tried calorie counting and nothing has ever worked for them.
The thing is calorie counting is pretty straightforward and simple. What's not so simple? Being consistent with it long enough to see measurable results.
Because well... we are humans and life happens, stress happens!
Life happening gets in the way and is why a lot of women over 35 are calorie counting their way to no where. They do stuff to lose weight, but life happens which throws off their consistency and becomes frustrating.
See this is why I can't lose weight! See this is why it's too hard. I have too many responsibilities. Things are always happening to me.
The hard truth is life is always going to happen even when you have a goal.
So, if you've been tracking calories for awhile and have this problem then it is time for you to learn how to pivot when life happens. Learn how to have a backup plan. Learn how to plan ahead without getting flustered and stressed.
Learn how to do the best you can instead of giving up. Learn how to set boundaries. Learn how to say no and ask for help because you have a goal!
If you don't treat your goal seriously, nothing will ever change.
You will find yourself in and out of calorie trackers like My Fitness Pal forever feeling frustrated you're not making progress with your weight loss goal.
In this podcast episode, I'll share with you some real tactical examples from my own 80-pound weight loss journey of how I had to change to make weight loss happen plus client examples.
These will help you in your journey to ensure you are calorie counting your way to your goal! Enjoy the episode!
In this Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Episode, You Will Hear:
- Why A Lot Of Women Over 35 Are Calorie Counting Their Way To No Where
- How Life Happening Gets in the Way
- Why You Have To Change Your Behavior
- How You Actually Have To Change In Your Journey vs. Just Checking Boxes & Calorie Counting
- Tactical Examples of How You Must Change In Your Journey To Achieve Your Goal
- Why Giving a C Effort With Your Goal Will Get You No Where
Never Miss An Episode! Subscribe to the Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast on Apple, Stitcher, Spotifyor Amazon Music
Related Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Episodes
Calorie Counting Your Way To No Where Podcast Transcript
Hello Friends! Today we’re talking about why some of you are calorie counting your way to nowhere. Why you’re using My Fitness Pal for 10 years and have no results to show for it, which by the way you shouldn’t be using My Fitness Pal or any tracking app forever.
Why you calorie count, but nothing changes with your weight OR you calorie count and your weight does change but you never seem to keep it off. We’re going to talk about this today and what I’m going to tell you might surprise you.
Before we dive into this topic, I want to remind you that I am still doing my cookbook giveaway. I announced the May and June winners in previous episodes.
We have a few more weeks left in July so those who leave a review in July will be entered to win for this month. To enter to win, all you do is log into Apple podcast and leave a review and a 5-star rating.
There are only two written reviews so far for July, so you have a good chance of winning. I will announce the July winner in the August 5th podcast. Good luck!
Okay, so I’m going to give you some straight talk today about why you’re not seeing the long-term changes you want in your journey.
A lot of you are calorie counting your way to no where because you are not changing. You need to change in your journey.
Quite a few of the women over 35, I’ve seen in my nutrition practice the past 10 years are calorie counting their way to nowhere because they are not actually changing. What do I mean by changing?
I mean changing your behavior, changing your perspective on things, changing your mindset, changing who you associate with in your life, changing your routine, changing how you pivot when life happens, changing your attitude, changing how you set boundaries, changing how you communicate your needs and asking for help, changing your habits.
A lot of women I’ve seen let life happen to them and then they act like they are not in control of their lives. Life happened, this thing happened to me and therefore, I couldn’t follow through with what I committed to doing.
My husband had this work event, and it was at a baseball stadium and all they had was hot dogs. I couldn’t get my protein. I couldn’t stay in a calorie deficit. This event took me by surprise.
Okay… listen ladies. This is how life is so first we need to stop acting surprised when life happens. Second, you need to learn how to pivot when life happens. PIVOT.
What’s the backup? What’s the best thing you CAN do? Can you drink a protein shake on the way to the ballpark? Can you eat a meal before you go? What can you do? What is the backup plan?
If it were me, I would be of the mindset of okay I’m going to this event tonight. It wasn’t expected, what’s the best thing I can do to get my protein, stay full and stay in my deficit?
That would be what I’d ask myself and then I’d find the best thing I could do and do that. Because when I have a goal, I take it seriously. Some of you, do not treat your weight loss goal seriously.
You do all the right things. You count your calories, but you are not actually changing your behavior. When life happens, you let life take over and you do not control your decisions.
Recently, I had a client whose mother went into the hospital unexpectedly for several days. She figured out very quickly that the hospital didn’t have much lean protein.
So, she packed a cooler and brought lean protein to the hospital every day. She stayed in her deficit and still tracked her calories.
A lot of women would have said screw it in that situation. Screw it. I can’t do anything. I’m so stressed out. See this is why I can never lose weight. I have nothing to eat.
These things keep happening in my life so I can’t lose weight. The only difference between those of you who say screw it and my client.
You are believing your own excuses. You are not changing. You are not taking control. You are expecting life to be perfect. Nothing to get in the way.
You get stressed and turned upside down when these life things happen in your life. You have to learn how to pivot when things happen.
Do you stop brushing your teeth? Combing your hair? Washing your face? Showering? Of course not! So why would you not get protein? Not stay committed to your goal?
There will never be a perfect runway for you to just lose weight where life won’t get in the way.
It’s not practical and life is going to get in the way during maintenance so no better time to learn to pivot than when you are losing weight so you can learn how to take care of yourself and live your life.
You have to change if you want permanent change. This is the part of weight loss that is hard (really hard) and it’s the behavioral side of weight loss that is not spoken of enough.
Everyone focuses on the food and the calories, but that will only get you so far. You have to change. You have to compromise. You may have to say NO to things.
When I was losing my 80 pounds in 2009, I could no longer be the person I used to be. I was a consultant traveling Monday through Thursday every week. I had to say no to going out with some of my co-workers to drink and have dinner some nights so I could get my sleep and get my steps in.
I had to bring backup lunches to work when I knew we were having all day team meetings in case they brought in food that didn’t work for my goals. I had to get up and get my steps and exercise in the morning sometimes when I knew we had late night meetings.
I also had to give up a friendship. I had a best friend who always wanted to go out drinking and to the bars until 2am on the weekends. She was going through a divorce and when she went through her divorce, she wanted to go out even more.
I started saying no because I didn’t want to do that. That did not align with my weight loss goal. It also made me feel like crap and I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I started telling her no and she didn’t like it.
It caused a huge problem, and we no longer were friends. I had to give up my best friend because she was living a lifestyle that did not align with this new healthy and fit version I was.
Are you willing to look at your life and give up certain things? I think some of you are trying to live your life like you’ve always done and lose weight.
But you are not actually transforming if you are living your life the same way. How you have been living your life is why you are overweight. You can no longer be that person.
Routines, habits, mindset, behaviors, relationships, communication – all must change. You have to make compromises; you have to say no to things that don’t serve you.
There are routines you are doing right now, behaviors you are doing right now and relationships you are participating in right now that are keeping you stuck.
And your unwillingness to compromise, say no and pivot is exactly why you are not where you want to be. A lot of women are calorie counting their way to nowhere because of this.
If you had a goal of running a marathon and you knew in order to reach that goal you had to get 3 runs in over the next 2 weeks with X amount of miles.
Would you be like oh, I was going to do it but then we were on vacation and then some family came to visit and then I had this event for my husband and then I had this thing with my mother come up?
If you have a goal, you figure out how to make things happen while life is going on. If you’re on vacation, you may need to get up earlier than your family to get a run in.
If your husband has an event, you may have to do your run the night before at the gym instead of outside instead of the day you planned it for.
You have to think and plan ahead otherwise it won’t happen. No one can do it for you. You have to learn to do it for you!
When I get my gray hair colored, it’s a process because I have a lot of hair. I’m usually there 3 hours and it’s over my lunch. You know what I do? Pack a lunch.
When I travel somewhere, you know what I do? Pack individual protein packs with individual oatmeal packs that are just oats and I bring that so I can have a protein focused breakfast in case where I’m going doesn’t have one.
If I’m getting on an airplane to travel, I’m bringing a high fiber wrap with me and some lunchmeat or a tuna pack with fruit, a jerky stick and string cheese. Then I get to the airport and look for individual mustard packs and individual chips.
I don’t get on an airplane and go oh my God I’m starving then eat like a jerk when I get off the plane. I plan. I pivot from my normal routine because I don’t want to be a starving bitch on a plane.
I know what hangry me will do when I get off that plane if I do not fuel my body. You have to plan. You can’t leave things to chance anymore. You have a goal.
A lot of women suck at this. They really suck at this. Thinking ahead, planning ahead, looking ahead, having a back up plan.
You would not believe the number of women I’ve spoken to throughout the years who get back from vacation and tell me it took them 2 weeks to get to a grocery store.
I’m baffled by that. Like what are you eating? Pop tarts and Cheetos for 2 weeks? What are you feeding your kids? Nothing? Sorry kids… I’ve got vacation hangover can’t feed you for 2 weeks.
If you’re going on vacation, what’s the plan for coming home? What things are in your freezer and pantry that you build an adult meal for and a child friendly meal until you can get some groceries.
How about ordering groceries and having them delivered to your house when you get home?
I can’t tell you how often someone says to me… I never thought of that. That’s the point. You need to think differently. You can’t think like your old self.
You can’t be the same way you’ve always been and think somehow you are going to keep weight off permanently.
You have to change your behavior. You can’t participate in the same patterns of behavior and think you are going to keep weight off.
You see it’s these things that make weight loss really hard ladies because it requires you on some level to change your behavior.
I had a client awhile back who was working on her calorie deficit, but she kept taking trips and had friends in town and she would show up to coaching calls complaining how she wasn’t lose body fat. It was because she was not in a calorie deficit.
She kept going over her calories going out to eat and she was under eating protein because she wasn’t planning ahead for it. The only time she looked at her calories was right before our calls.
Her response was seeing I’ve counted calories before. I told you I’ve done this before, and it never works. You know what I told her? Your calorie deficit isn’t the problem.
It’s you. You are the problem. Your behavior has to change.
You need to treat your goal seriously and you need to make some short-term compromises to reach your goal. You’re going out with friends? Great.
Maybe you eat before you go out with them so you can control your calories while you are working on being in your deficit. Maybe you don’t drink when you go out with friends. Maybe you offer to cook for friends at home so you can control the calories better.
I think a lot of women are in this camp. They think the calories, or the food is the problem when it’s really their own behavior that is the issue.
Your behavior has to change in order for you to get the results you want and there will be some temporary compromises required.
I think some women don’t really want to have to make those sacrifices. But that is true of any goal.
You’re going back to school for a master’s degree? There’s going to be some sacrifices. You’re getting a second job to pay off some bills? There’s going to be some scarifies. You’re running a half marathon.
There’s going to be some sacrifices. You’re remodeling your home? There’s going to be some sacrifices. You’re starting your family? There’s going to be some sacrifices.
You’re starting a business. There’s going to be some sacrifices. Whatever your goal is, there will be some temporary sacrifices you must make to reach that goal.
Why women think when they have a goal of losing body fat that there won’t be temporary sacrifices blows my mind because that comes with any goal. No matter what it is.
I do believe some women think what they are doing while they are in the calorie deficit to lose body is what they’re going to do forever and that is how they will maintain their weight. Restricting calories, counting calories forever. No, no, no. You are wrong.
First, tracking calories is a tool to help you learn and reach your goal. You should not be tracking calories forever that would psycho.
Second, being a deficit is not the amount of food you eat in maintenance. I explained this in podcast episode 111 can you not lose weight in a caloric deficit.
You get more calories in maintenance and if you don’t exit a diet and bring calories up, you are going about this the wrong way.
But expect to have to make sacrifices. You can’t be the version of you who doesn’t make any sacrifices, any compromises and changes nothing.
I have seen this quite a bit with weight loss clients and have had to talk to them about not just focusing on food but focusing on changing their behavior.
It’s always fascinating because when things in life happen we act almost surprised even by the most basic, cyclical things.
Like OMG my kids are home from school this summer, OMG my kids are back at school and my routine’s different, OMG I’m on vacation, OMG I’m back from vacation, OMG it’s winter and it’s cold how do I get steps, OMG it’s the holidays.
Like a lot of these things happen every year but we act surprised that they’re happening to us when we are trying to lose body fat. Like you didn’t anticipate this happening?
I can understand not anticipating a family member going into the hospital, but some of these things. These happen every year. Stop acting surprised when life happens and start planning. You have a goal.
Take it seriously and plan. How can you do the best you can so you can still live your life and reach your goals? Notice I said best you can.
Do not mis-interpret me for be as perfect as you can. Best you can. You can’t go for an hour walk like you normally do. Okay, can you walk around the block? Something is better than nothing. What is the best you can do?
In January 2014, I broke my right foot. OMG my painful thing ever. I was in a boot for months. I swear my foot took forever to heal. In April, my mom calls saying she is having emergency surgery tomorrow for 6 bypasses.
They did a calcium score on her and rushed her to the hospital. She told me, don’t come home because she lives in WI and I live in AZ. You have a broken foot, I’ll be fine. Well, I knew she wouldn’t be fine.
My dad was showing signs of dementia. We didn’t know he had dementia at the time, but my mom and I knew something was wrong with him. And my brother was never around so I knew I needed to be there in case something happened especially something medical because I didn’t think my dad would be able to handle it.
So, guess what I did? I got on a plane to WI. It was a good thing I did too because my mom caught a rare infection in the surgical room.
It took a dozen specialists to figure out what was wrong with her. She was in the hospital for 14 days. Here I’m thinking I’m coming to WI for a week, and I was there almost 3 weeks. My dad could not understand anything that was going on.
He couldn’t keep up with the medications, doctors, tests. I very clearly recall when my mother was being discharged the nurse going over her home healthcare needs and setting up the nurse because she had a catheter and all this stuff for this infection she got.
My dad at one point turned to me and threw his arms up. It was at that moment; I knew something was seriously wrong with my father.
And it was a few months after that when my mother recovered that I pushed her to get him tested and we found out her had early onset dementia. He was 62 when he was diagnosed, and he passed away in 2023 at 71.
So, obviously I was caught off guard by all of this. My mother getting sick, spending 3 weeks in WI, my father not acting like himself, and I had a broken foot. What do you think I did? Ate like a jerk, ate hospital food, didn’t plan anything and never worked out? Of course not.
I went to a gym when I was there and told them I’d only be there for a few weeks. They signed me up for a monthly membership, so I got my butt up early every morning to go workout so I could get to the hospital mid-morning and spend the day with my mom.
Mostly swimming and doing upper body because of my broken foot. I got to the grocery store and stocked the fridge at my parents’ house full of lunchmeat, bags of salads, pre-roasted veggies, fruits, yogurts, eggs.
I packed food to bring to the hospital. I had zero desire to eat hospital food and honestly, I was appalled by the food they were feeding my mother after open heart surgery. I couldn’t believe how unhealthy it was.
So, I pivoted. Was it perfect? No. But I had the mindset that I still needed to take care of myself no matter what’s happening in my life and I figured out how to do that the best I could.
There are going to be a lot of situations in your life where you will need to learn to pivot. Life is going to happen. Always. Stop acting surprised when it happens.
Always have a backup. Always be thinking what you will do that’s good enough. And realize this is the real behavioral change you need to work on to get permanent change.
Being in a calorie deficit to lose weight is very straight forward, it’s all this life stuff that makes it hard. Because the life happening means you must change. Learn to pivot. Your life isn’t going to change for or clear the runway for you.
YOU must change. In some ways you will have to change permanently. In other ways you will have to make compromises and sacrifices temporarily to reach your goal.
You have a goal. You must take it seriously. If you put in a C effort over a 3-month period of time, you won’t get the results you want. You have to put in the best effort you can.
When I am in a calorie deficit, I make temporary sacrifices. Like I rarely go out to eat when I’m in a deficit. I go to bed early, I’m very choosy about when I go out with friends, and I eat the same meals repeatedly.
But Megan that’s too boring. I couldn’t possibly eat the same meals on repeat. Well, first are you looking for your meals to entertain you? Why is food your hobby?
Maybe we need to find some hobbies or things that fulfill us that are not food. Food is meant to be enjoyed, but it’s not meant to be your hobby or entertainment.
Also, I have spent the time to find meals I love and all I do is slightly reduce the portion while I’m in a deficit. Have you found foods and meals that you love that get you your protein and fiber that are within your energy requirements?
If you haven’t yet, you need to spend time on that before trying to be in a deficit.
I take the goal seriously. I track religiously every day and mark off all the days on a calendar that I track when in a deficit.
I monitor all my data and I don’t wait until I have a meeting with my coach to review it. I look at my average calories, steps, protein, fiber, take measurements regularly.
I’ve also observed some women sign up for coaching thinking because they signed up for coaching that their coach is going to change for them.
Your coach or nutritionist can’t change you. They don’t have a magical ferry dust to sprinkle on you. It’s your responsibility to change. You live your life, not the coach.
Part of this journey is you taking your control back. No longer allowing everyone in your life and everything that happens to you to rule your choices and decisions.
Learn how to say no, learn how to set boundaries, learn how to communicate where you need help whether it’s from your partner, work, friends or family.
I know what you’re thinking. That’s really hard to do! Of course it’s hard. This is the part of weight loss that is hard.
Changing behavior. Getting out of self-sabotaging patterns. No longer believing your own excuses. Not acting like a victim. Taking control of your life.
Yep, all hard. But real change, isn’t just changing the food or counting calories.
Many women are calorie counting their way to nowhere because they are not changing. They’re not taking control of their life.
Life is always happening to them. And for some, they are not as committed to the goal as they are willing to admit to themselves.
I’ve been doing this for 10 years and human behavior is quite fascinating. A lot of women I’ve seen in my practice only want to focus on the food and calories. If that is you, keeping weight off until the day you die will be tough if not impossible if you only focus on food and calories.
Because in this game, you have to change. You can’t just change eating habits, you must change your behavior and in order to do that, you have to get brutally honest with yourself.
That level of honesty is something some individuals are not willing to do because it stings a little to admit you’re the one getting in the way of your own goal.
A while ago, I had a conversation with a client who was doing a lot of cardio and was complaining how hungry she was.
I explained to her how all her cardio was making her hungry and that she needed to scale back if losing body fat was the goal.
But Megan you don’t understand, I love cardio how can you tell me I should cut back on my cardio. For 2 months this went on and on.
Finally, I said okay, here’s your deficit target let’s see how you do. After 2 weeks, she realized she needed to cut back on cardio.
You know what I told her? You have to change your behavior to reach your fat loss goal. You can’t keep doing what you’ve always done, especially something that’s sabotaging you and expect somehow magically you will get to this goal.
No, it doesn’t work that way. Some compromise is required. Some change is required.
So, take a minute and ask yourself. Are you making compromises? Are you committed to your goal? Are you taking it seriously? Are you actually changing your behavior to become an upgraded version of yourself?
Changing behavior isn’t just counting calories, eating your protein and fiber and getting your steps.
Real change comes from being able to pivot and changing the patterns and routines in your life that aren’t serving you, communicating where you need help and support, setting boundaries, learning to say no and standing up for yourself.
What behaviors do YOU need to change? How do YOU need to get better at pivoting? Get brutally honest with yourself. Okay ladies, you know where to find me if you need help. I’ll chat with you soon!
Bonnie B. says
I go to a High intensity workout 4-5 days/week at 7:30 am. Some days after working out I have to take a nap. I thought I would have a lot of energy. Should I eat something before? I have a high protein breakfast after the workout but it doesn't seem to boost my energy.
Megan says
I can't say because I don't know enough details and would have to ask a lot more questions to know those details. Perhaps 4-5 high intensity workouts is too much for you each week.