Sharing some Behind The Scenes of Skinny Fitalicious! I've been blogging for 4 years now and wow, those four years have taught me so much!
The lessons have been tough and there have been (and still are) days I want to pull my hair out. Like when my host has server problems and I have no control over it, or someone logs in the wrong way into the meal plan system and locks themselves out, or when someone tells me a recipe turned out horribly only to find out they didn't measure the right way. Yeah, there are so many fun, PARTY days over here! Real life!
Part of the attraction to bloggers is that it's like reality tv on the internet. People want to know who you are and what you think. I feel like that authenticity is lost right now and that's something I don't want to lose.
So, here's what's been going on behind the scenes of Skinny Fitalicious.
Readers do not comment anymore.
Since I started blogging 4 years ago, one big change is that readers no longer comment on blog posts. My readers are now sending me questions using my contact form (which takes a lot more time) instead of submitting a blog comment.
The problem is when readers do this there are 129385393 other readers who have the same exact question. So, I end up answering the same question over and over. Part of blogging is building an online community. If you're a reader, please comment because you are helping other readers when you do! And, I miss those comments!
I'm constantly asked "what can I do about XYZ."
Something I didn't expect about sharing my weight loss, hormone problems and avascular necrosis on this blog was the number of questions I would get on a daily basis about them from people dealing with similar things asking what they should do. Some even send me their medical records and x-rays.
While I want to help every single person, I can't. As a nutrition practitioner, I cannot legally give individual advise unless those individuals are my patients. This frustrates many people, as does me. But honestly?
Would you message your doctor on their website and ask them what to do about XYZ? Most people would schedule an appointment with their health care provider to address a problem. For some reason, this isn't done with nutrition. I think people still don't understand nutrition IS medicine.
I've been crying a lot.
Last year I turned 40. I've never been married and my boyfriend has two daughters who are high school age. I began to realize that with my age, past hormone problems and with where my boyfriend is in life, that having kids is probably not going to happen. I always imagined myself having kids so this was a huge life blow.
The last few months I've felt like I was mourning the death of something that was never born. There's been many days filled with tears and uncertainty. My boyfriend's been a huge support. While we haven't full closed the door on it yet, I can only have faith that things happen for a reason. If it's meant to be, it will happen.
I stopped taking hormonal birth control in November.
Speaking of conception, I had enough of my crazy hormones. Last year I felt horrible on birth control pills, gained weight, had intense sugar cravings and felt inflamed everywhere. I stopped getting my periods again too and it made me feel crazy. Finally, I had enough and stopped taking them because I knew it wasn't good for my body. Since getting off the pill, I feel 100% better. I now use a thermometer to track my cycle. It's so easy. I wish I had done this years ago.
Dating at 40 is hard.
So hard. Like really hard. I can't begin to express how difficult it is navigating dating someone at this age when they have kids and an ex. Thankfully, his daughters get along with me and now, even ask for me to come to dinner or my advise on things. But, it's taken a year to get to that point.
We know we want to be together long term so we're trying to figure out the housing situation. Shuffling between two homes is exhausting, but we're not quite sure how to combine households. His daughters are with him part time and my house is too far for them to drive to and from school.
I'm not sure I'm willing to give up my home either because in 4 years that's probably where we will want to live. I work from home and my photography requires a lot of space, which my home is setup for now. So, I have idea what we are going to do.
My Dad is having surgery.
To repair an aortic aneurism later this week. It diagnosed it in 2007, but the doctor had not checked it until this year when she felt a large mass in his stomach. Exactly why you have to be your own health care advocate. Thankfully, the aneurism was caught in time. It's hard to watch your parents get old, but it's a good reminder to take care of yourself. You only get one body.
I've been doing Invisalign.
I had braces for 4 years when I was a teenager and I'm annoyed I had to get them again as an adult. My bite was uncomfortable and chewing foods was difficult. Every time I was in a video or photo I felt self conscious about how crooked they had gotten.
So, I've been wearing Invisalign for 18 months and I'm so happy I did it! I got it the same week as my hip replacement. My teeth were straight in a year. But there's one tooth that's stubborn which is why it's taking longer. I'm hoping this is my FINAL set of liners because I'm so over wearing them.
Misti @ Finding My inner Kate says
I turned 40 last year as well, and, although I decided a few years ago that I didn't want kids, knowing that door is closed now (not necessarily because of age, but because of medical history) hit me harder than I expected. You have accomplished so much, but if children are meant to be for you, they will be.
Sarah says
You’ve accomplished so much! Your corporate career you had the courage to leave! Your own business! I’m also leaving my corporate career to launch my own business and I’m terrified...but no risk, no fun, right? And I know I’d regret it one day if I didn’t do it. As for kids...won’t probably have any either. It’s not working “naturally” and after all my hormonal issues I can’t imagine having hormonal treatment. But it’s definitely a grieving process...however, I also think that what is meant to be will happen and I’m so grateful to many husband for the support and love he’s been giving me all these years.
caren gittleman says
My goodness look at all you have accomplished!!! I LOVE your blog and always have. I have been blogging nearly nine years so I know how hard it is. I wanted to offer comfort about the children situation. I am 22 years older than you, but...like you, ALWAYS wanted children of my own. I didn't marry the first time til I was 40...that marriage fizzled because he had a drinking problem. Prior to that marriage I was enjoying the single life and time marched on. My current husband, when I met him had two grown daughters and made it clear he didn't want any more children. Like you, I did A LOT of crying. A LOT. Then, like you, I decided that "if it is meant to be it will be." I do not have my own children, (but I have pets that are like kids to us). I have two adult stepdaughters who are friends, and one of them will be having her first child late this summer (I have been married to her dad for almost 12 years now). To be honest? When I see my friend's wild grandkids, I am almost thankful (ALMOST) that I never had kids of my own. I am less patient now that i am older, but....I am looking forward to our granddaughter being born. Everything happens for a reason. You can still be a "mother" to nieces, friends, etc. I DO know how you feel to possibly not have children of your own but you have benefits that your friends with kids do not have. More freedom is one of them! As well as more money, kids cost A LOT. Sending (((hugs)))
Megan says
Thank you so much for following and commenting! I've felt so alone with the decision of having children and in the minority. My friends who have kids or are pregnant don't get it. They just say find a new boyfriend, have a baby on your own, freeze your eggs etc. which none of those things are realistic or comforting. I feel like I have no one to talk to who gets it so thank you for responding and giving me a positive outlook on this.