Are Your Words Sabotaging Your Weight Loss

Your words are sabotaging your weight loss in subtle ways causing you to stay stuck, causing you not to take action toward your goals consistently, do the opposite of what you want to reach your goals and feel frustrated and upset with yourself.

Saying things like “I can’t” or “I’ll probably fail” as examples create a fixed mindset and can lead to emotional eating, skipping workouts, overeating and giving up entirely. This is the definition of self sabotage.

In this Dish On Ditching Diets podcast episode, Megan explains four additional phrases you say regularly that are disempowering you and causing you to secretly sabotage your weight loss. Listen to the episode to for the language and phrases to watch out for and how to change them so that you stop secretly sabotaging your weight loss!

In this Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Episode, You Will Hear:

• Why the reason you’re not losing weight has nothing to do with the foods you eat
• How you’re disempowering yourself with your words
• How your language influences motivation, how you feel and your behaviors with food and exercise
• Four self-defeating phrases sabotaging you in losing weight permanently and how to shift them to help you lose weight
• How your deprivation mindset, restrictive behaviors with foods, relationship with food, diet mentality, all or nothing thinking, how you cope with your emotions, self-sabotaging patterns, negative self-talk and self-criticism prevent weight loss

Never Miss An Episode! Subscribe to the Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify or Amazon Music

Related Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Episodes

• All or nothing mindset prevents weight loss
• How eating perfectly healthy sabotages weight loss
• Self criticism sabotages weight loss
• Shifting your mindset for losing weight
• Why deprivation doesn’t work for permanent weight loss

Are Your Words Secretly Sabotaging Your Weight Loss – Podcast Transcript

Hello friends!

Today I want to share with you four phrases that are sabotaging your weight loss journey. I’ve been working with midlife women on sustainable fat loss for 11 years and I consistently see midlife women frustrated with themselves.

Why am I not doing this? Why am I like this? Why do I do this to myself? What’s wrong with me?

So many of the women that I talk to don’t realize that the reason they aren’t losing weight has nothing to do with food. The problem is not food. The problem is you.

Your deprivation mindset, restrictive behaviors with foods, your relationship with food, your diet mentality thinking you can only eat healthy foods, your all or nothing thinking, how you cope with your emotions, self-sabotaging patterns, negative self-talk and self-criticism.

None of those issues are food issues. Those are YOU issues and until you address the you issues, you stay stuck in this cycle. You are getting in your own way with your own words, and you don’t even realize it.

The good news is this is exactly what I help my clients with. Many of them have been on this podcast sharing their stories and how I’ve helped them.

When I began coaching midlife clients, I really thought it was as simple as telling people what to eat and what to do. But I quickly learned that doesn’t work.

You might be able to do things for a while, but then after some time you find yourself reverting to old habits or maybe always stuck and not making progress. It’s because these issues are the root causes of your weight problem.

So, today we are talking about four phrases secretly sabotaging you in your weight loss journey. You’re unconsciously saying things to yourself that are making it harder for you to lose, easier to give up, and feel unmotivated to do the things you likely know you should be doing – let’s dive in!

First one is I can’t. If you say I can’t do something, you’re shutting down the possibility that you could do that in the future or that you could learn how to do that. When you say I can’t, what you really mean is I’m not willing to do that. I’m not willing to try that. I’m not willing to learn how to do that.

For example, I can’t get up in the morning to get steps. It’s not that you can’t. It’s that you’re not willing to get up in the morning to get steps. You’re not willing to pay the price now to get up earlier so that you can lose weight, get fitter, feel better and gain strength. Another example is I can’t drive 25 minutes to the gym, it’s too far.

It’s not that you can’t drive 25 minutes, it’s that you’re not willing to drive 25 minutes to the gym. Or another example might be I can’t track my food this weekend when I’m out of town. It’s not that you can’t track your food. It’s that you’re not willing to track your food.

Tracking your food takes just a few minutes. Even if you’re out of town you can quickly search and take your best guess. You’re not willing to search and take your best guess.

Like you couldn’t go to a court of law and prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you can’t track your food because you’re out of town. That would sound silly. The truth is I don’t want to track my food when I’m out of town.

You see part of the issue is you are not telling yourself the truth. Remember my weight loss client Patty who was on in the last episode? She said she learned in weight loss coaching that she needed to be honest with herself. You’re not telling yourself the truth when you say I can’t. You’re shutting yourself down from the possibility of figuring out a solution.

You’re telling your brain – I’m not willing to do what I need to do to lose weight. I’m not willing to pay the price of changing. It’s not worth it to me to reach my goal. When you say I can’t, it’s saying I’m helpless.

I’m powerless and there is nothing I could possibly do here. It’s self-sabotage. It’s black and white thinking. You saying “I can’t” just mean you haven’t figured it out YET. Don’t shut yourself down from figuring it out!

I see a lot of I can’t lose weight messages in the comments midlife women leave on my social media posts. You must stop saying “I can’t” because you are taking your own power away and you’re making yourself feel powerless when you do that.

There’s nothing you can do, no help you can get, you are just a lost cause. Imagine telling your child they can’t figure out how to ride a bike, or they can’t get accepted into college.

You would never say that to them, what makes you think you should be telling yourself you can’t? Where does this I can’t even come from?

Instead of saying I can’t, replace it with “I haven’t figured it out YET.” I haven’t lost weight yet YET. I haven’t figured out how to get steps YET. I haven’t figured out how to get to the gym YET.

That is very different than I can’t lose weight, or I can’t get steps, or I can’t track my food. I haven’t figured it out YET. Practice saying whatever it is you want to say without saying I can’t. It will be hard and that’s why you need to practice it.

When you tell yourself you can’t, your brain doesn’t think well what could I do instead? What could I try to do? Your brain does not problem solve. You are telling you brain with the I can’t that there isn’t anything you could possibly do or try, so your brain isn’t going to offer you alternative solutions.

This is why you stay stuck and frustrated. If you want to get unstuck, you must change your language because how you speak to yourself drives your behavior.

Second is “I had to.” This phrase is disempowering. Like I had a stressful day and my daughter was sick and I went through the drive thru at Chick-fil-A and I had to order a large waffle fry, fried chicken sandwich and a root beer. I had to!

But that’s not true. You didn’t have to. There’s very little in life that we have to do. There’s always another option or choice. That doesn’t mean it’s the choice you want.

So instead of saying I had to. Say I want to. I went to Chick-fil-A and I wanted to order a large waffle fry, chicken sandwich and a root beer.

Oh, but let me guess – you don’t want to say that to yourself. Because saying I want to order a large waffle fry, chicken sandwich and a root beer makes you go eww I don’t like the sound of that.

You know why you don’t like the sound of that because it’s the truth, but not telling yourself the truth is hurting you. You wanted to do that. It is not true that you now other options at Chick-fil-A. 

The problem with the phrase “I had to” is that it sends the message to your brain that you are not the one in control of your choices. You have zero power. That makes you feel powerless around food.

But you are the own who has the power. Not the food. The problem is you keep giving your power away. You almost always have a choice.

When it comes to your weight loss, food, exercise, it’s almost always the true that you have some choice on what you can do. It’s very disempowering to tell yourself you had to do something. Stop giving your power away!

Third phrase is I’m just. “I’m just not someone who exercises. I’m just someone who eats when they’re stressed. I’m just the sort of person who always… I’m just this or I’m just that.” Those are self-limiting belief statements. You’re telling yourself you can’t change.

Don’t go limiting yourself. You don’t know who you could be five years from now. I mean think about when you were seven. You didn’t imagine you were going to be what you are today.

And even ten years ago, you didn’t imagine this is where you would be. So, stop boxing yourself in. Stop acting like you can’t change or learn new things. Don’t limit your own potential. 

Instead, say I haven’t figured out YET how to be someone who exercises. I am someone who eats because I don’t know how to deal with stress. I haven’t figured out YET, how to deal with stress without food.

Notice that subtle shift in language, makes a huge difference because you’re no longer limiting your potential. You are keeping the door open for you to change. And no, you don’t have to believe you can change.

You don’t need to believe in yourself either to change. What you need to do is to stop limiting your potential and acting like you are incapable of learning things.

These phrases or stories are getting in your way of achieving freedom from dieting and one of the ways you get out of your way and stop self-sabotaging is by altering how you speak to yourself.

Start by becoming aware of what you are saying to yourself, then begin talking to yourself in a more truthful and empowering way. Not in a fake, positive way. A truthful, honest, more problem solving and objective way.

So, instead of saying I’m just not someone who likes to exercise say maybe I’ll like it in the future. See how that statement is acknowledging how you feel in the present, but not boxing you in from the potential of becoming someone who enjoys exercise in the future?

Because you literally don’t know. I used to be someone who didn’t like strength training at all and now I love it. Imagine if I had limited my potential by telling myself I never would be someone who would like strength training. I never would have gotten to where I am now! So many of you are limiting your potential and your language is sabotaging you.

Last one, stop saying I’m trying. You’re not trying to lose weight. You either are losing weight, or you are not losing weight. You either are making choices towards the act of losing weight and you’re on a weight loss journey or you are not on a weight loss journey.

You are not trying to be on a weight loss journey. You’re either on it or you are not on it. You’ve got to start talking in that way.

There’s no I’m trying. It’s either I’m doing it or I’m not. I am losing weight. I am on a weight loss journey. I’m telling you this makes a big difference! Practice it right now. I’m trying to lose weight vs. I’m on a weight loss journey.

Say I’m trying to lose weight confidently with me. I’m trying to lose weight! Feels strange because saying I’m trying confidently is like saying I kind of don’t believe myself, I’m struggling, and I may not be successful, so it feels weird to say it confidently.

Now say I’m on a weight loss journey confidently with me. I am on a weight loss journey! Okay, that feels right. It doesn’t feel strange.

Now think sad thoughts and say I’m trying to lose weight. Now think sad thoughts and say I am on a weight loss journey. I am losing weight. See how that feels funny?

If you’re going to tell yourself I’m trying to lose weight, you’re telling yourself a sad story and if you’re going to tell yourself stories about yourself you better make it an empowering one. I’m trying insinuates you’re struggling, and you can’t do it and it’s all pretend.

What benefit do you get telling yourself something so disempowering? I have ideas why you’re telling yourself something disempowering, but do you? That may be something you need to dig into.

You have all the answers within yourself – why you’re doing something disempowering to yourself. You may not know how to untangle the answers inside of yourself. That is what a guide does – someone like me.

It’s hard to see it when you’re in it which is why outside help benefits you in untangling this web.

But if you’re going to tell yourself stories, you better make it a helpful story because I’m trying is sabotage language. Your words and how you talk to yourself makes huge a difference.

And if you’re anything like me, you might be super skeptical about this. It seems like woo-woo stuff like what do you mean? How is this really going to make a difference?

It’s like if I gave you a code to put into your computer to help it run better. Well, our words are a code. It’s how we process commands, information, how we behave and take action and the motivation we have to do things.

Your words are your defining your weight loss operating system and how well you operate with food and habits.

I’ve been doing this for 11 years helping mid-life women and surprisingly it is something I see all the time. I sometimes feel like an English teacher in coaching calls helping clients shift how they say things.

Because shifting how you say things is one aspect of how you shift your mindset. Your mindset it your operating system. Right now, the code to your operating system is messed up.

Your job is to find your disempowering words and to begin to shift them to re-write the code. These are exactly the things I help my clients with.

So those are the four phrases you need to work on, and I want to take a moment to thank you for listening and being a loyal listener of the podcast.

I’ve had the honor and privilege of working with women every day to help them reach their goals.

I’m always thinking about you and how can I help you? What is the content I needed to hear when I was on my weight loss journey?

I want you to know I believe you can figure this out. In fact, I know you can. And I know sometimes you feel like you can’t, but you can. You ARE capable. You may not have it all figured out YET.

You may need a guide to help you, but you ARE on a journey, and I want to challenge you with this. What’s one small action you can work on right now?

Maybe the small action you could do is working to shift your words. Working on how you speak to yourself! Really trying to eradicate the disempowering speech that is sabotaging you because food, calories and weight loss is hard when you are talking to yourself in a disempowering way.

That’s what I call being a jerk to yourself. Stop being a jerk to yourself!