Can't Lose Weight No Matter What? These are 8 questions I would ask to help you as a nutritionist to figure out why you can't lose weight.
If you're a woman over 35 feeling frustrated with your weight and you feel like no matter what you do or what you try, you just can't lose weight. This jammed packed Dish On Ditching Diets podcast episode is for you!
First, if you feel defeated and frustrated. Don't give up! You are 100% normal.
It is very easy in a weight loss journey to give up finding answers because you feel defeated.
Many women over 35 feel exactly like you do. You will find your answers as long as you keep going. I promise!
And sometimes you do have to do a bunch of crummy diets and programs before you realize they aren't actually teaching you about nutrition, building habits, changing your behavior and creating a sustainable way of eating you can follow until you're 85 years old.
Second, if you've been stuck with your weight and feel like nothing works for you no matter how hard you try, there are answers!
Sometimes it takes another set of eyes looking at your situation that isn't biased to help you figure things out.
In this Dish On Ditching Diets podcast episode, I am sharing with you 8 reasons why you could be stuck with your weight.
If you stopped me on the street and asked me why you cannot lose weight no matter what, these would be the questions I would ask you.
Some of these questions require you to look beyond food and exercise for solutions to your weight. Deeper self reflection is often a game changer in this journey!
I find in my, fat loss nutrition program for women, these are often the key to unlocking patterns keeping us stuck.
Everything is meant to help you in your journey and I hope you find your answers. Enjoy the episode!
In this Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Episode, You Will Hear:
- 8 Questions To Help You Get Unstuck With Your Weight
- How You Might Be Making Progress But Are Dismissing It
- The Scale Isn't A Measure of Health
- Why You Need To Be Your Own Coach
- Do You Need To Go Back To Maintenance
- How Your Mindset Sabotages You
Never Miss An Episode! Subscribe to the Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast on Apple, Stitcher, Spotifyor Amazon Music
Related Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Episodes
- Calorie Counting Your Way To No Where
- Fix Your Relationship With Food
- Why You Self Sabotage
- Is The Scale Sabotaging You
- 5 Common Mistakes Women Over 35 Make
I Can't Lose Weight No Matter What Podcast Episode
Hello Friends! Today we’re talking about 8 reasons you can’t lose weight no matter what you do. I thought of this topic because I’ve had several conversations with women in my free consultations and women who reach out to me on social media. And yes, I answer all my social media messages myself!
When I have these conversations with women, one of the things they keep telling me is that they can’t lose weight no matter what they do.
They’re frustrated and feeling like there is something wrong with them. If this is you, listen up because I have a good episode to help you figure this out!
Quick reminder before we begin today. I am doing a giveaway each month for my cookbook during the year of 2024.
To enter, click the Apple podcasts app on your device, scroll to the bottom and leave a written review with a 5-star rating.
There are usually 3 or 4 written reviews each month, so you have a great chance of winning. I announce the winners on the podcast. Make sure you’re tuning in to catch if you’re a winner!
Okay… let’s dive into why you can’t lose weight no matter what you do or how hard you try. I’m going to ask you 8 questions to help you figure this out and get unstuck.
If you ran into me on the street and asked me why you can’t lose weight, these are the things I would ask you.
First question I’d ask you is are you losing actually weight? Are you losing weight, but it’s slow so you keep diminishing your progress?
And are you only measuring progress with the scale? Are your measurements going down, but the scale is staying the same? Ladies I cannot stress this enough.
Diet culture has taught you to tie your self-worth and success to a number on a scale. If this is you, you have to get out of this mindset of tying your success and worth to the scale, otherwise, you will be incarcerated in a diet prison for life chasing scale numbers and dieting.
You need to track measurements and take pictures. Not just look at the scale. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen clients lose two or three pant sizes and get hung up on the fact that the scale hasn’t gone down.
If this is you, you are diminishing your own progress. It’s incredible how many women over 35 who are clients of mine who try to convince me nothing’s working, nothing’s happening when the data is right there in front of them.
Measurements are going down month after month, yet they will complain that the scale isn’t going down.
Their clothes are fitting better or they’re even fitting into smaller clothes, and still complaining the scale isn’t going down. If this is you, why do you do that?
How does focusing on the scale as a measurement of success helping you? Because all this does is lead to sabotage and giving up.
Health is not a scale weight.
Health is feeling comfortable in your body, having a healthy relationship with food, not going to screw-it-ville each time you eat something less nutritious, having a healthy relationship with your body, self-image and exercise.
Having good labs, fueling your body with the nutrients you need.
What is not healthy is focusing on the scale. That does lead to disordered eating, disordered behaviors with food and exercise, unhealthy relationship with food.
The scale is one piece of data, but it should not be the only thing you measure to determine if you’re making progress.
I had a client awhile back – I actually shared a reel about this on Instagram - who every time she came to a coaching call, she would tell me nothing’s working. I’m doing all this work. See nothing’s working!
I’ve tried losing weight a million times and it’s never worked. I have PCOS. I just can’t lose weight. Yet, I’m looking at her measurements and month after month her inches are going down.
They weren’t drastically going down, but you could see each month she was losing body fat everywhere. She was losing fat.
Finally, I said to her, why do you refuse to see your progress? You’re doing great. This is how fat loss is supposed to happen. It’s supposed to be like this.
After I said this to her it was like something clicked and she suddenly began to allow herself to see that she was making progress toward her goal.
And I do believe a lot of women do this. How many times have you said I only lost 1 pound, or I only lost 2 pounds, or I only lost whatever the number was?
Or I only dropped a pant size? The scale still hasn’t gone down.
I truly believe a lot of women over 35 ARE losing weight but they do not 1) take measurements and put too much into the scale number and 2) they do not allow themselves to see and appreciate the small progress they’re making because it is slow. It’s so important to be honest with yourself in this journey and look objectively at your data.
I think a lot of you, like my client, are making progress but you dismiss it. It’s not enough. It’s not good enough. It’s not fast enough.
We are so used to Amazon Prime and Door Dash and having everything at our fingertips.
Unless you do drastic and unsustainable things, it will be slow. And let’s not overlook the very important fact either that you are improving your health!
Even if you are not losing inches or scale weight, you are improving your health. You’re learning to show up for yourself. Take care of your body. Move your body. Prioritize you.
Think differently about food. Have a different relationship with food. Those are all wins. But we sure are quick to overlook them.
Progress is progress and it happens in many ways. Look for all the ways you’re making progress, not just the scale.
Instead of saying to yourself you can’t lose weight no matter what you do… say, I am losing weight slowly and I’m improving my health. If I keep going, I am guaranteed to get there.
Because that’s the truth.
Quitting and self-sabotaging by making yourself feel defeated doesn’t get you there faster. It makes your journey longer! I feel that is a much better mindset don’t you think?
Again, please stop, just stop, investing all your success in just the scale. It is one piece of data. The body of your dreams may weigh more than you think it should.
This is such a difficult concept for women to wrap their head around because they still think like a dieter. There’s been so much diet culture ingrained in them.
I have a client I’ve been working with this past year who is very tall and active. Her scale weight is still hanging in the 230’s, but she has completely changed her body composition.
She has gone down 3 pant sizes and every person she sees says to her OMG you’ve lost so much weight. You look so fit and great!
She mentally cannot get over how she is still the same scale weight, yet her body looks entirely different!
When we first began working together, I did not allow her to use the scale because I knew it would sabotage her so we only used measurements.
Then when we got done with her first fat loss phase and began working on maintenance, we introduced the scale and the had a mental meltdown because she dropped 3 pant sizes, but her scale weight was still the same.
We had to do a lot of work on her relationship with the scale and what that number represented for her. I’m happy to say, today, she’s perfectly fine with this number but it’s taken a lot of deeper work for her to get to this place.
I think this is one of many benefits of having a coach because they can reassure you what’s normal in this process and what you should expect.
When you have been exposed to diet culture for so many years, it’s easy to slip into the old diet version of yourself and living and dying by the scale.
A coach can reassure you that you’re on the right path and whether you are making progress.
I do feel there are some women who just refuse to see their progress no matter what. They really struggle to accept that fat loss is slow, and they can’t accept the small progress they’re making as success.
Awhile back I had a client who went to her doctor and of course they throw you on that stupid scale when you go to the doctor. And the doctor said to her, you should fire your nutritionist because you haven’t lost any weight.
Now this client had just started a fat loss phase a month before when she went to her doctor. She was only one month into her deficit, and we were not doing anything extreme because she came from a history of chronic dieting and doing crash diets like Optavia.
Lots of dieting and crash dieting make weight loss harder and slower and put a lot of stress on the metabolism. Her food obsession and cravings were also terrible.
Four months prior to her beginning her calorie deficit, we were working to heal her relationship with food, helping her eat balanced meals, eat enough protein, eat enough fiber, taught her how to track her food and read food labels, build the habit of walking and improve her all or nothing mindset.
These are the foundational things she needed to work on in order to create a sustainable plan for her before we could even get to a fat loss phase.
So, when her doctor said you should fire your nutritionist. She believed him and she began questioning everything she had been doing.
You know what she said to me? I’ve been doing this for 4 months and I should have already lost this weight.
I told her no; you should not have lost the weight yet. And I reminded her that we spent the first 4 months working on her habits, mindset and relationship with food.
That IS progress!
But her doctor made her feel so terrible she couldn’t see that those 4 months were a success and the foundation to her house that she needed before going into a calorie deficit.
She even tried showing her doctor her calories and food tracker. She told him she wasn’t lying and that she was doing the work and not lying.
He wasn’t interested in seeing what she was trying to show him. Ironically, her scale weight was coming down when we began her deficit because we were charting it.
You know one data point on the scale when you go to the doctor doesn’t tell you anything. It’s just one point in time.
It’s like taking your blood pressure one time and concluding you have high blood pressure when maybe you just drank a lot of coffee this morning. Context and having multiple data points is important here.
But you see some doctors are doing this kind of stuff to their patients and it is truly unfortunate.
Doctors are not trained in medical school in behavior change or nutrition and I don’t think they realize how truly difficult it is to help people change their behaviors around food especially when they come from a complicated history of diet culture.
As a side note, if you are a physician, please, please for the love of God stop doing this stuff to patients. This doctor sabotaged my client. This client ultimately gave up.
She made so much progress and it was so disheartening to see her quit and it was all because of what her doctor said.
And unfortunately, her journey is going to be longer now. She is going to have a longer and harder journey because of what this doctor did to her.
Doctors are not trained in nutrition or in behavior change. Going to a doctor for nutrition is like going to a dentist to fix a broken arm. We are all in the medical field but trained in our own specialties.
I so wish more doctors were trained to better handle these discussions with their patients. Or say hey, let me reach out to your nutritionist so I can get the full story.
But unfortunately, our medical system is not setup for them to do that and they are not trained in behavior and nutrition. Bottom line.
But back to my point. Are you making progress, but not letting yourself see it? Is progress happening but it’s slow? I think for a lot of women that is true because I’ve just seen so many client cases where this has happened.
The data is right there, but they’re not seeing it. Humans will convince themselves of all kinds of things that are not true and not allow themselves to see facts that are right in front of their eyes. It’s wild! All I’m asking is maybe that’s you?
Ok. Moving on!
Second question. Are your expectations realistic? I had someone message me on Facebook the other day saying she only lost 12 pounds in 2 months.
Listen fat loss is supposed to be slow. The problem is a lot of people compare themselves to their friends and husbands/partners who are crash dieting.
My husband’s doing keto and he’s losing weight faster than me. I’m so mad! I mean if you can follow a keto way of eating until the day you die and that way of eating works fantastic for you, go you and keep going!
But if not, why are spending any time comparing yourself to your friends, family and partners who are crash dieting? That’s like comparing apples to hammers. They’re not comparable.
Or comparing yourself to highlight reels on social media. A lot of those are created with AI. Influencers create photos and videos and are layering a filter with AI to look like they have a smaller waist.
They’re photoshopped and manipulated and the problem is you’re comparing your normal body to this AI / photoshopped person’s body.
Fat loss is supposed to be slow, monotonous and boring. It’s like your hair growing out. Most people week to week do not notice their hair growing. I have long hair.
It’s usually 3 months before I notice my hair is getting long and it needs to be cut. Welcome to how fat loss works! It’s so slow, it feels like it couldn’t possibly be working.
Most of you look at yourselves in the mirror and pick yourselves apart. Look at this belly. Look at this butt, hips and thighs. Then you’re feeling gross and repulsed by yourself. Then every day you’re like obsessing.
I’m fat, I’m fat, I’m fat. I’m gross, I’m so gross. When is this fat going to come off?
Do you think you’re going to make any progress with THAT attitude? Do you think you’re going to spot progress with a mindset like THAT?
You’re literally training your brain to see how fat you are and to hide progress from you. You’re training your brain to see you’re gross, you’re fat and your brain goes okay, I’ll highlight for you how fat and gross you are.
Your mindset going into this is the problem. If you don’t change that, you can have all the results in the world, and you’ll still feel disappointed.
This is why people will say things like I only lost 12 pounds in 2 months. So many of you are putting yourselves in mental diet prisons because your expectations are not realistic.
Question number three. Has it been long enough? How many months has it been that you’ve been consistently following a plan?
When I ask women this, they’ll say it’s been 3 weeks, and my response is that’s not long enough.
Fat loss IS slow, but here’s the mindset shift I want you to think about. You’ve spent how many years 50 pounds overweight or however many pounds? 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
If you lose 50 pounds in 18 months, that is realistic progress. 18 months is faster than 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, right? You can be overweight most of your life and in 18 months turn it all around.
Fat loss is not Amazon prime, but when you look at it this way it IS fast! It IS Amazon Prime. Eighteen months is super-fast when you look at it this way!
The problem is you’re used to ordering Door Dash and it’s at your door in an hour, grocery delivery and it’s at your home in a few hours, or Target pickup ready in an hour, or ordering something from Amazon and it’s here tomorrow.
You’re used to being able to get everything you want at the snap of your fingers and then you try to take that same mentality over to fat loss and it’s never going to be like that if you’re doing it in a sustainable way.
So, have you given your fat loss long enough which leads me to my next question.
Question number four. Have you been consistent enough? I had a conversation with a woman on Instagram who was really frustrated telling me she was eating in a calorie deficit for 3 years and didn’t lose a pound.
She told me her deficit was 1700 calories. I said huh, so you’ve consistently ate 1700 calories for 1,000 days?
I asked her can you add up the calories she ate the last 1,000 days to get the average to see if she was consistent with that 1700 calories. She told me, ugh, well, I had a few months I wasn’t tracking and most weekends I was off track.
Okay, so we’re not actually being consistent. There’s our answer and that is why there are no results.
Ladies, there is a massive difference between trying to eat 1700 calories and really eating 1700 calories. A lot of people are trying or aiming for a calorie number, but in actuality they are not eating.
Big difference between I’m aiming for this number and actually executing to it and here’s the data I have to support it. Here’s my average calories for the last 1,000 days.
Now if you go off track every weekend, that’s 42% of your week. Imagine if you got a 42% salary cut. 42% is a lot!
There is a big difference between I’ve eaten perfectly at 1700 calories for the last 3 years vs. I go off track every weekend and I’ve had months where I didn’t track.
Now there’s no judgement or shame here, but unless you are at least 80% don’t expect results. Most women I’ve noticed don’t want to look at their numbers.
And remember I’m not condemning anyone or trying to make anyone feel bad. There is no shame or guilt here. But you do have to get honest with yourself. Truth is what you need! Truth with love.
A lot of women say I’ve been dieting the last 3 years when in reality they haven’t been on a diet the last 3 years. They’ve been on a diet for 4 or 5 days and then fall off for 3 days and have been repeating that cycle for 3 years.
Or they’re dieting for a month or two then fall off and binge for a couple weeks then stay in screw-it-ville for. Then at some point say I have to get on track, I’m gross, I’m fat and the whole cycle repeats.
There’s a massive difference between I’ve been eating 1700 calories perfectly for the last 3 years vs. I follow it a couple weeks or days before falling off and repeating that cycle for 3 years.
Again, I say this because I want you to be successful so don’t take this out of context. This is not coming from a place of shame, guilt or judgement. It’s coming from a place of truth. Are you as consistent as you say or think you are? What does your data say?
Question number five. Is what you’re doing sustainable and are you trying too hard? Is how you eat practical? Can you follow the way of eating you’re doing now until you’re 85 years old and I don’t mean the deficit part?
The deficit is not what you do forever. That is something you do short term.
Are you trying too hard? Are you doing things that are unsustainable? Here’s examples of what I mean by trying too hard. Are you cutting out entire food groups and making it hard on yourself by restricting foods you love so much?
Telling yourself you can’t enjoy ice cream or eat pizza with your family? Are you taking your calories too low? Are you expecting too much from yourself because of your perfectionist tendencies?
You can’t do this from a place of desperation. Working from a place of desperation is like the sleezy salesperson at a car dealership who just won’t leave you alone that they drive you away.
You don’t buy any vehicle because he’s so sleezy and pushy. Or a man who just won’t leave you alone.
They’re trying so hard to get your number, trying so hard to date you and get your number that it turns you off and you run the other way.
You don’t want to give the man a chance because he’s just too pushy. He’s trying too hard, and it drives you away.
If you’re trying too hard, is that why you can’t lose weight no matter what you do? Maybe you’re driving your results away. You’re doing everything to lose weight, and nothing happens no matter how hard you try, perhaps that negative energy is causing you to stress and overeat.
Maybe that negative energy triggers you to overeat foods you think are bad because your relationship with food sucks. Maybe all you do is think about how I’m trying everything, and this is so hard and because you’re in that state of lack, you begin to self-sabotage.
You either know what to do and don’t do it or you don’t show up for yourself. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re pushing too hard. Trying too hard. Instead of just taking repeated action and let it happen.
Don’t push for it to happen. At the end of the day, all you can control is your actions and how you show up for yourself. You don’t get to control how and when the scale changes.
So, you might as well focus on what you can do. I will tell you after coaching women the last 10 years, the people who try to force things to happen they take the longest to get to where they want to be.
And the people who say… I’m going to do the best that I can and I’m going to let the results come when they come are the people who get the faster results.
And it’s because they’re focused on the actions not the results.
I had a client a few years ago who began at 230 pounds. She dropped several inches, improved her body composition by putting on more muscle and she went down 2 pant sizes. However, her scale weight stayed the same at 230 for several months.
Then finally the scale caught up and she dropped to 215. Then several months after that it came just under 200 pounds. It took almost 18 months for her scale weight to come down.
That scale can be stinky, I’m telling ya!
Sometimes it takes a long time to catch up to what you’re doing. Most women are giving up 3 weeks or 3 months in. Are you giving it 18 months?
The only thing you get to control in this game is the actions you take and just doing those actions over and over. You should be doing them anyway because they’re good for you!
So, is why you’re not losing weight no matter weight because you’re trying too hard? I’ve had clients tell me over the years they can’t believe it’s not hard. How they’re not starving. How surprised at how little exercise they need to reach their goals.
How much they’re eating, how full they feel, and how surprised they are that they’re losing body fat and not feeling like it’s so hard like previous diets. I feel like I should be hungrier, working out more, have lower calories, I feel like I’m not doing enough.
How am I getting this progress, and it doesn’t feel hard?
It's because this journey is not about the intensity or effort. How much can you change at once. How healthy of an eater can you be. How many foods can you cut out. It’s about being effective. What’s the minimum effective dose.
Doing that and getting consistent with it. Keeping calories higher, making filling meals instead of low-calorie WW-esk meals. Doing fewer workouts. Doing less complicated meal prep.
The harder you make it, the more your adherence goes down. Your sabotage goes up. You feel defeated more. You go from feeling motivated and excited about the goal to what’s the point and then you end up in screw-it-vile.
Most women who tell me they can’t lose weight no matter how hard they try, it’s almost always because they’re doing things too aggressively.
Think of it this way… you could drive your car 100 miles an hour to the store and while on paper that’s faster than 25 miles an hour, but is it going to get you there faster?
Probably not because you’re going to get pulled over by the police or in an accident.
So, you saying I have to get to the store as fast as possible is actually slowing you down. Yes, you are physically going faster than 25 but you’re getting stopped by cops and accidents.
For those of you saying you can’t lose weight no matter what, is it because you’re trying to speed things up when it’s not supposed to be like that?
And that’s causing you to sabotage, overeat, lose motivation, slow your metabolism, stay stressed about food and obsessed about your weight?
Question number six maybe you need to come out of your deficit and go into maintenance? So many women are terrified of going into maintenance and to not be calorically restricted.
You must remember that your body adapts. If you go into a calorie deficit and let’s, say your calorie deficit is 1400 calories. At some point, your body will conserve energy and adapt to make the 1400 calories your new maintenance.
Your metabolism will down regulate and make other adaptations like preventing women from having a menstrual cycle as an example to compensate for being in a prolonged deficit.
Some individuals play the game of lowering and lowering calories when their body adapts and before you know it, they’re eating 1000 calories as their deficit.
That is not a good game to play and why I’m so opposed to the 800 calorie diets and Optavia and other diets. Your body will outsmart you at some point.
This is why it’s important to number one not stay in a caloric deficit for too long and number two bring calories up to maintenance for a few months even if you have more weight to lose.
My clients we do nutritional periodization where phase between the calorie deficit and maintenance.
I had a client who had lost weight doing Optavia and at some point she stopped because she loved exercising and they told her not to exercise.
Big red flag by the way. She began counting calories and eating 1400 calories. But she felt terrible. Hungry all the time, low energy, not recovering from workouts, not sleep well. I worked with her to bring her calories up.
She’s now eating 2100 calories and maintaining her weight. Feels great and she told me she can’t even image going back to 1400 calories now because of how much better she feels.
She is an example of someone who needed to go into maintenance. She was keeping her calories too low.
You have to understand that one of the worst diet strategies is to stay calorically deprived until all your weight comes off. There are some women who come to me eating 800 calories, 1,000 calories, 1,200 calories.
I have to bring their calories up because they are so calorically deprived. If they’re actually eating 800 calories a day, there’s no place to drop down to from there. We have to build their caloric tolerance back up.
I have to say this is so scary for women to do. I see so many women having mental breakdowns and anxiety with bringing calories up to maintenance.
This is not healthy if this is you. If going back to maintenance creates fear and anxiety for you, it’s time to get some help. You’re just giving your body what it needs at maintenance. You are maintaining.
Why women think they will gain a zillion pounds going back to maintenance it doesn’t make sense. Again, feelings are not facts. You may feel like you’ll gain weight bringing calories up but that’s not the fact if it’s true maintenance.
So, maybe you need to take a diet break and bring your calories up to maintenance?
Question number seven What’s your mindset? If you say I can’t lose weight no matter how hard I try and you fall off your plan and sabotage frequently, maybe it’s your mindset.
You have to fix your mindset before you diet for real.
Do you find yourself always sabotaging? You’re always overeating or binging? Starting over every Monday or every morning it’s a clean slate and you try to be good all day until it falls apart at night? Or you fall off plan on the weekends?
Or you do the whole I know what to do, but I don’t do it thing. Or your relationship with food is so bad that you’re obsessed around certain foods? You can’t stop thinking about food? Are you good? Are you bad?
Or you just can’t bring yourself to do anything because you’re not motivated? Or you always find yourself being a perfectionist until something happens and you fall off the plan and sabotage?
All those things are mindset issues not nutrition or food issues.
These are signs you have mindset issues. Women tell me this all the time. I do well until the weekends. I do well until I go on vacation.
I do well until I eat this certain food, and I obsess about it. I do well until my kids make me crazy. I do well until my MIL makes me mad. I do well until nighttime comes around.
Well, you can’t calorie deficit your way out of those problems. You can’t out exercise a bad diet and you also cannot out calorie deficit a bad mindset.
Mindset is the issue the majority of my clients deal with and that’s why they end up working with me because you can’t calorie deficit your way out of an all or nothing mindset, being a perfectionist and having a terrible relationship with food.
You cannot out calorie deficit a bad mindset. If you have a poor relationship with food, more restriction and deprivation does not make that better.
You can My Fitness Pal all you want, but counting calories and tracking food does not fix a poor relationship with food.
If you sabotage subconsciously because you have a belief that you’re not good enough or that you’ll never figure this out anyway so why bother, then no workout plan, no nutrition plan, no meal plan or calorie number is going to do anything for you.
If you have a bad relationship with food and once you stop eating certain foods you can’t stop, a better meal plan or a grocery list won’t do anything for you.
If you binge because of a bad day and because you have a lot of stress or your emotions are all over the place, a food tracking app won’t do anything for you.
A hormone balancing meal plan won’t do anything for you. Make sense?
If you find you cannot lose weight no matter what, no matter how hard you try, no matter how many tricks you do. It’s probably your mindset.
Question number eight Are you being honest with yourself? This one requires a lot of self-accountability and ownership.
As in do you track everything you eat, or do you say oh I ate this food, and I don’t want to track that. Or I didn’t track all weekend because I ate like a jerk.
What if you were a coach coaching you? Put your coaching hat on now and think what areas can you improve on?
What would you say to you if you were the coach? You know yourself better than anyone else.
There is not a world that exists where you are doing everything right and not getting results. That violates the law of physics.
If you say I do everything right, but nothing’s working. Don’t stay there in frustration and don’t lie to yourself. All that does is shut your brain off from finding solutions.
Instead say to yourself I must not be doing something right. Something’s off. What might that be off? That line of questioning opens your brain to answers and finding the possible solutions to figure this out.
If you say, I’m doing everything right and I can’t lose weight no matter what I try or do that is a very closed or fixed mindset.
But when you say… hmmm I’m doing all these things and I’m not getting the results what might be off? What might I not be doing well enough of missing? Is my consistency off?
What does my data say? Now your brain is open to finding the potential missing links and not so closed off. Be your own coach.
Ask questions of yourself like a coach would.
It’s wild how many women I speak to who know they’re being dishonest with themselves and trying to convince themselves they’re doing everything right.
Listen, I’ve done this too. Last year I shared how I discovered I was eating 400 calories of chocolate every day and confused why I was gaining weight because I kept telling myself I eat healthy and workout.
I wasn’t open to looking for solutions until I knew deep down something was off and once, I got honest with myself then I was able to find what was off and then I was able to change it.
And when you are honest with yourself do this in a way that you are not judging yourself. You are improving yourself. There is nothing wrong with you.
You are not broken. We all have things to work on so keep the judgement out of it and try to look at this as if you were a coach or as if it were your job.
Okay, ladies that all I have for you today. I hope this talk was helpful. Talk to you soon!
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