Losing weight isn't all roses and skinny jeans. Losing weight is warding off demons so you don't fall back on old habits and coping with weight gain fear. Losing weight is dealing with your emotional relationship with food. Losing weight is dealing with fans and haters.
During my weight loss, a friend would always put a negative twist on my weight loss. What I eventually realized was her statements, were not a reflection of me. It was about her. She knew she should have been focusing on her health and losing weight. Her way of dealing with those feelings was deflecting them on me. She was a weight loss hater.
[Tweet "Are you a #weightloss hater? #FitFluential"]
I believed once I reached my ideal weight that dealing with haters would be over. I was wrong. Even now, I still deal with people putting me down or critiquing me for how I lost weight. People don't want to believe that you really can have a healthy approach to weight loss. People manipulate facts making them into something they are not.
It's empowering to figure out who you are and embrace it. I want everyone in this world to feel that in their life.
So when someone belittles my weight loss, it doesn't make me mad. It drives me. It drives me to tell my story more because so many people need help taking control of their health. While everyone needs to discover what works best for them, I want my story to inspire others to discover their version of healthy and transform their lives. Through my weight loss, I not only discovered many things about my body but also I discovered myself. Who I am, what I'm capable of and what I'm meant to be which was so much more than I ever imagined.
[Tweet "Empower yourself & regain your #health #FitFluential #weightloss"]
Before I go on, let's revisit some facts about me. I lost 80 pounds many years ago. I lost weight eating healthy foods and walking every day. Back then I didn't have a gym membership. I walked. I ate real foods. I didn't do a fad diet, I didn't take supplements or pills, I didn't eat candy or processed foods and I certainly never stopped eating (I like food too much). I ate healthy foods, reduced my portions and monitored my calories with a doctor's supervision. I made a lifestyle change for my health, one that has stuck with me to this day.
But as we know, the formula for dropping pounds is much more than working out and eating better. Weight loss is personal. It requires trial and error. Actually, a lot of trial and error. The problem is people don't put the time and effort into figuring out their body and what works best for them. Weight loss is a journey, a discovery of how your body functions best. What foods work best for your body, your lifestyle and genetic disposition. Discovering what workouts you enjoy and can perform with your body and its limitations.
Weight loss is about you.
Through my own trial and error, I discovered when it comes to dropping pounds certain healthy foods do not work for my body. Instead I found alternate healthy foods that made me feel good that I enjoyed eating. The secret for anyone making a change is finding what you like to eat otherwise the habit will not stick with you in the long run. I guarantee you'll go back to your old eating habits.
While weight loss is a component of becoming healthy, there are people who believe losing weight is "unhealthy" aka the haters. Losing weight isn't unhealthy. In fact, it couldn't be farther from the truth.
Weight loss is about getting healthy and making a life long commitment to change and finding what works for you.
Somehow in the midst of healthy living trends, weight loss has gained a bad rap. There are people who believe it's wrong to say "I want to lose weight." They think if you have lost weight or are losing weight you're must be doing a fad diet or restricting. They try to take any and all virtue away from someone who may have lost weight the right way. Instead of encouraging them to stay on course with their health journey or praising their accomplishments, they put them down. "You shouldn't want to lose weight just be healthy."
Herein lies the weight loss haters.
When it comes to food relationships, I believe there are three types of people. The first type are those who obsesses over what they eat, when they eat, how much they eat, restricting their food until they become ill and eventually needing help to define a balanced & trusting relationship with food again. The second are those who are clinically overweight, need to drop pounds to get healthy & need a lifestyle overhaul. I fell into the second type. The last type are the intuitive eaters who have a balanced and healthy approach to food and exercise. The healthy living utopia so many of us envy.
Weight loss hating begins when type one and type two misunderstand each other or when type two hate on each other. In the first scenario, type one attacks type two thinking they're wrong for wanting to lose weight. Type one has had such an unhealthy relationship with food they assume type two must be wrong for having a weight loss goal. They think they should just get healthy. What type one lacks in understanding is that...
Weight loss is part of becoming healthy.
[Tweet "#WeightLoss is about getting healthy #FitFluential"]
Type two people are also haters to one another. This was the case with my friend. Someone who was jealous of what I was doing for myself and my health.
All weight loss haters have one thing in common. They've forgotten there's a serious epidemic in America. People are severely overweight and yes, overweight people DO need to get healthy. But just because they have a goal of losing weight to regain control of their health doesn't mean they should be put down for it. No wonder so many people give up on their goals. They're criticized before they try. To the weight loss haters, I ask you to ask yourself this question.
What about yourself makes you unhappy that you put other people down for having a weight loss goal to improve their health?
We shouldn't be telling people not to think about weight loss. It's like saying you shouldn't change your lifestyle when you have high cholesterol or high blood pressure. We all know those are precursors to heart disease. How is that different from weight loss? Being overweight can cause heart disease. Shouldn't you lose weigh to protect your heart? Why are the only people attacked are those wanting to lose weight? Plenty of people are on specific "diets."
Why aren't the weight loss haters attacking the Paleo, gluten free, vegans, pescatarians, vegetarians and diabetics?
Unfortunately we live in a world of unhappy people. People who would rather be negative and put others down rather than build them up because they're not happy. Weight loss haters are mean girls. I say stop tearing each other down and start building each other up.
Respect, Uplift, Encourage
If you're trying to lose weight and dealing with haters, remember it's not about you. It's about them. Tell yourself if someone is spending their time critiquing and tearing me down, it means they're fundamentally unhappy in their own life. They are deeply unfulfilled and have a pervasive lack of self-worth. Whatever the motivation is, do not let it take you down or stop you from chasing your goals. They're your goals, they're your dreams and you and you alone are the only one who has to live with the regret of not chasing them.
[Tweet "Are you a #weightloss hater? @FitFluential"]
Are you a weight loss hater? How do you deal with haters?
Lots of Health, Food & Love,
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I'm not sure this is the place for this question. But what's your take on the trend of clearly overweight, unhealthy people "loving their body" and sometimes promoting an unhealthy life style/eating habits? I'm conflicted, as I was one of those women until I had my realization. I'm all for accepting your body, but accepting obesity as normal is alarming.
Good question. I've noticed this trend as well and it disturbs me. I believe loving yourself means you should love yourself enough to live healthy and active not to remain living an unhealthy lifestyle.
Thanks for the reply. I am so glad I discovered your site. Thanks for all you do!
I appreciate the sentiment of this post. I am a registered dietitian and work in a hospital. I actually do not counsel people on weight loss like in an outpatient setting. Most of my diet educations are specific to medical treatment and chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, etc. However, many patients who suffer from those are also overweight so I guess the education is two-fold. Anyway, I do think people take the thought of weight less negatively when they are thinking of it from a physical perspective and not a health perspective. Sometimes I feel it when a patient seems almost offended when I come into their room and introduce myself as an RD. Many people assume that maintaining a healthy weight involves deprivation and unhealthy eating habits, when I actually encourage the opposite. I'm so glad to read your post that kind of echoes that thought. Also, like you said, there really is not one-size-fits-all when it comes to nutrition. What works for one person may not work for someone else and we all need to recognize that. Something that is frustrating to me is that I feel like our country is hyper-focused on things right now that are kind of controversial when it comes to whether or not they can harm us (ex: GMOs, artifical sweeteners, etc).... There is lots of scientific evidence that shows us being overweight is a risk factor for chronic diseases and certain types of cancers. I just feel like we should be more focused on things that we *know* contribute to these diseases.
I love everything you just said. As you read, I feel extremely passionate about the obesity problem and everyone finding what works for them. I feel there needs to be much more education weight management and nutrition from early on. I only wish there was more I could do to reach people. Not being an RD, I get the "you don't know what you're talking about" a lot. I learned a lot about myself and managing my health through my weight loss. I actually wrote this post because someone else wrote a post insinuating that I had lost weight eating snickers bars. I'm glad you, as an RD, appreciated this post and didn't knock me down.
I really love that you are so honest Megan, and I respect that you treat health in a super balanced way!!! <3
Thank you sweet lady! I'm glad someone appreciates my transparency. 😉
So part of the weight loss process!! My people lose friends, husbands, wives & more due to the fact that they can't handle your weight loss. Very sad BUT it is about THEM, not you. Great post!
Thanks friend, I never thought I would have so many agree that something good for you would break personal relationships. Sad, but true!
This remind me of a quote a read that was something like "you can be the sweetest, juiciest peach and there will always be someone that hates peaches."
Screw the haters. What matters is the YOU are happy.
Is that a Georgia saying? LOL! I get what you mean. Someone will always find something to criticize you for. If you're secure with yourself, you can brush it off.
I've actually found that people tend to snark on pretty much anything and everything diet and fitness related. I had a lot of people give me a hard time about not eating meat, and I know there's a tonne of anti GF/Paleo/whatever feelings out there. At the end of the day, everyone needs to do what works for them. But everyone also needs to be objective and willing to admit when something -isn't- working. It's not an easy thing to gauge, but we're all on the same journey so we should support each other instead of tearing each other apart.
It is truly unfortunate that anything diet and fitness is put down. It is a positive thing when someone makes their health a priority.
I actually lost a lot of friends when I altered my lifestyle. I gave up the partying late nights etc that were keeping unwanted pounds on my body for my health. And they had a very hard time accepting that. In the long run I realized that if that was our common bond then I was a-okay with it. These days I have dietary restrictions based on my Crohn's and I hear it on the daily the "Gianna won't eat that". Why no, I won't because I will be in agony for days and pay the consequences. I feel people project their own insecurities about their food choices on others.
I'm sorry you lost friends. I did as well & can relate to how that feels. It's hard enough you're going through an illness or lifestyle change then to suffer the loss of that support you thought you had. Even as I am recovering from my injury there are people who I would have expected would reach out, ask how I am doing and have not hear a single word. I wonder what will happen when I see them again? Will they pretend these last weeks never happened?
Unfortunately people do hate on vegetarians/vegans. It's wildly uncomfortable when you're out for a meal and people will point out that you have a specific diet and tend to "make things difficult". It's not easy have food preferences, and often people are jealous of will power (at least that's my take). I choose to not eat certain foods because of they way they make me feel - not because I want to be difficult at dinner and only get a salad at a steak house. Weight loss haters aren't the only kind of haters out there... people with specific diets like vegetarians/vegans/diabetics/etc. still feel and receive negative comments about their eating habits.
I bet anyone with a specific diet or restriction must get those responses. I am now gluten free and have experienced it in the little time I've been eating that way. It's confusing to me why others cannot just accept and respect your choices.
The best way to deal with the haters is compassion 🙂 They hate because they're feeling lack, and don't know how to deal with it. It doesn't mean you need to have them around if they're constantly being negative, but just to know it's nothing YOU'RE doing that's casing them to feel that way. It's like your shining a light on their failings and they don't like that.
That's very true Bri. Compassion often is the best way of dealing with most things. I wish we could all remember that when we are in the moment.
I don't think I've ever run into a weight loss hater. Maybe it's because my friends are runners or from my WW group & we just have similar goals.
I also definitely think there are more categories of weight loss. As you point out, it's all about what works for YOU. And what works for you won't work for me.
For example, I go to weekly WW meetings, even though I'm at my goal weight; I still track my food; and I do have to be somewhat restrictive -- it's a combination of age and being vertically challenged. And I've found that not eating pasta and bread except occasionally, but eating "good" carbs like brown rice, sweet potatoes, freggies) works better for me.
Having friends who value a healthy lifestyle definitely makes a difference. Even at my work I get snarky remarks for being healthy and working out. It's frustrating. I am learning that as I age food choices make a huge difference in my body composition. I eat very few simple carbs as well and feel better that way.
I had a friend who reacted the same way when I lost weight. It ultimately ended our friendship because I did not want to constantly hear all of her criticism. It is sad that people chose to tear each other down instead of build each other up.
That's really too bad you're no longer friends. I don't understand why people can't be happy & supportive.
Weight loss haters remind me so much of people who hate the fact that their friends are in relationships. They are afraid of this new relationship, that they will get left behind, or no longer be the most important thing in the other person's life. It is so sad to me. The friend that set Alex and I up was like that. Encouraged us to get together, then got jealous that she was no longer the center of attention. I've seen it happen time and again--people like to be in power, they like to be the one to make comments, so they do whatever they can to maintain that position.
Yes! That is the perfect analogy. That's crazy about your friend. I set up two of my friends and to this day, they're my best friends.
Jealousy makes people do mean things. The "hate" will often come from people close to us because success hits home for them the most and touches on insecurities. It goes on with weight and nearly everything else! I've been guilty at times but I try to go for self awareness now if I start feeling envious.
I agree everyone is guilty of envy and put down in some form. We live in such a competitive world it's inevitable.