The secret progress killer of weight loss is not knowing how much exercise to do, what meal plan to follow, how much protein or calories to eat.
As a nutritionist, I've coached women over 35 to lose weight sustainably and get healthier for 11 years and I have never encountered a woman who was totally clueless about exercise and nutrition.
I have never encountered a client who's never calorie counted, who's never heard of exercise or getting daily steps.
Because knowing what to do for women is never the problem.
Women do not need more information. They struggle when life gets in the way.
When their routine is different and generally, they give up and sabotage when anything interrupts their routine or added stress happens.
This is always the secret killer of weight loss progress for women.
Women do not know how to pivot and still do something (instead of nothing) when life happens and stressful events happen in life.
If you think about it, life is always going to be interrupted and filled with stress. So it is kind of ridiculous that anyone would ever think like would be perfect all the time so that they could take care of their health.
If you have struggled with sustainable weight loss, it may be in part, because you do not know how to manage your health habits around your normal life stresses.
In this episode, I'm sharing with you another perspective and examples from other clients of how they handle these situations without giving up.
This episode will help you think different in your journey. Hear the secret to stop this secret progress killer to your weight loss in this Dish On Ditching Diets podcast episode!
In this Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Episode, You Will Hear:
- Why Knowing What To Do To Lose Weight Is Never The Problem
- What Always 100% Of The Time Sabotages Women
- What Women Really Need To Lose Weight Sustainably & Take Care Of Their Health Consistently
- When Women Spiral With Their Emotions
Never Miss An Episode! Subscribe to the Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify or Amazon Music
Related Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Episodes
- Why You Self-Sabotage
- Being Your Own Best Friend: Tonya's Weight Loss Journey
- Calorie Counting Your Way To No Where
Silent Progress Killer Of Weight Loss Dish On Ditching Diets Podcast Transcript
Hi Friends!
Today I’m going to share with you the number one weight loss progress killer. This is the hidden killer of progress that gets in the way every single time.
Before we get to the meat and potatoes today… real quick.
I appreciate all of you who have left reviews. I cannot tell you how much it means to me when I read your positive reviews or get messages from you guys saying how much the podcast has helped you.
It truly is a blessing to be able to do this work for women over 35 so I appreciate you and your support.
Now let’s get to today’s podcast!
I’ve been on a lot of calls over the past 11 years with women over 35 who are interested in one-on-one nutrition coaching.
If you’re not aware, I offer free 30-minute consultations. The link is in the show notes or on my website if you’re interested in setting a consultation up with me.
So, I’ve been on a lot of calls over the last 11 years with women over 35 and in those conversations, never once have I encountered a situation where a woman was just completely clueless about nutrition and exercise.
I’ve never met someone who didn’t understand the importance of protein, or eating more high-quality foods or consuming more fruits or vegetables. Likewise, I have very rarely encountered a woman who never heard of calories or never calorie counted a day in their life.
Now, were there situations where someone needed to fine tune their nutrition? Absolutely. That is always 100% the case. If you’re trying to tackle this on your own, you’re never going to have all your bases nailed.
For the most part, every conversation is like Megan, I know what I should be doing. I know how to track calories. I’ve done it a million times. I’ve done programs like Noom and signed up for all the calorie tracking apps.
I understand the importance of protein. I understand I probably should cut back on my alcohol and eat out less. I know should work on my sleep routine.
I know exercise and strength training is important. I just need to get back to it. I try to get some walks in, but I know I need to work on my steps.
There has not ever in my 11 years of helping women ever been a single situation where a woman was completely clueless on what they needed to do. No one has ever said they didn’t know the importance of protein.
Now, most of my clients are under consuming protein so that’s the fine-tuning part I was talking about because no one has ever began coaching with me absolutely clueless about the importance of protein for fat loss.
Fiber would be the only area I would say none of my clients have known anything about. 95% of Americans are not consuming the recommended daily fiber and fiber is extremely important for preventing the development of chronic disease.
But that is the only area I have consistently seen women totally missing in their nutrition.
What I’m trying to say is that most women over 35 have a basic understanding of nutrition principles for fat loss and understand the importance of exercise, strength training and getting steps.
But what I observe is a lot of women over 35 thinking a meal plan is the answer to why they’re not at their fat loss goal yet. Or having the perfect calorie calculation or knowing how much fiber to eat or protein to eat.
And thinking that’s going to be the thing that finally sets them free. But it’s not true. That’s not the missing ingredient.
If fat loss and getting healthier were that simple, then no one would ever struggle.
If it were as simple as telling someone just eat this many calories, get this many steps, do this many exercises, eat this much protein and fiber nobody would ever in the history of this planet struggle to reach their fat loss goal.
The reality is food is never the problem. Knowing what to do is never the problem. So, what is the problem?
Life setbacks that spiraled and the inability to reset or the inability to switch gears or take shortcuts.
Every single person I have ever coached in my 11 years has had something happen. Oh, I was doing great Megan.
I was humming along with eating my protein and fiber, tracking my food, getting my steps and exercise and then this thing happened.
I got sick. My kids got sick. A pet got sick. A parent was injured. I was traveling for work. I was stressed with work. I was stressed dealing with my kids and their activities. The holidays happened. Halloween candy came in the house.
My in-laws showed up with cake and wine. My kitchen flooded. I was having a house remodel. A hurricane happened. I was sad. I was bored.
Something happened, and I began to spiral. I stopped doing everything I was doing before and I started to comfort eat at night, drink more alcohol and I got lazy with my food. Stopped tracking, stopped paying attention to steps.
Or I do really well during the week when I’m busy, but then the weekend comes around and I’m bored, and I have more time and there’s more snacks, so I mindlessly eat the snacks. I sleep in on the weekends, so getting my protein is harder.
And my spouse is eating junk or ordering takeout and stays up late and I’m like whatever, I usually end up eating whatever they’re eating and do whatever their doing.
Am I right? These are all real-life challenges that happen to all of us. This is real life. This is what actually causes people to struggle. Real life.
This is what is causing women to get frustrated that they’re not making progress. This is the number on progress killer of fat loss.
Notice it has nothing to do with knowing how much protein you should eat or how much fiber you should eat or how many calories you should eat or how many steps you should get.
That’s the easy part! It’s the life part and the self-sabotaging behaviors that are the killers of your progress. It’s the inability to reset and get back to baseline behaviors that is the real problem.
A meal plan or a new calorie calculation does not fix that.
How do I allow myself 2 or 3 slices of pizza instead of 6? How do I not feel guilty for eating Halloween candy or holiday cookies? How do I get some steps today vs. saying screw it there’s nothing I can do?
How do I still feed my body protein even when I’m taking my father to the hospital for tests? How do I still get some nutrients in my body while I’m sick?
This is the hidden disrupter of your progress. Right here.
These are the self-sabotaging patterns a lot of people fall into, and this is why a lot of women will continue to struggle until they get help with these things.
True story I have a client whose father has been going through some health issues and she’s been taking him to the hospital a lot. You know what she does?
She packs a cooler with a sandwich, fruits and veggies and a yogurt so she has something to eat.
The first time she went to the hospital she looked for protein in the cafeteria and did the best she could. Then she learned from that experience that packing something would be better and make her feel better.
And what my client is doing is what most people fail to do. They would never intentionally think ahead and pack something.
This is where people get stuck and frustrated. They FEEL like they are helpless and can’t doing anything.
They FEEL like life is too stressful and things are always happening so they FEEL like they can’t do anything.
This is why I always say mindset is the secret ingredient to your success. You must in this journey learn how to think differently.
If every time something happens in life, you stop and then you struggle to reset that is where your work is. It’s not a new way of eating, it’s not a new workout plan or meal plan, it’s not a new calorie calculator.
That’s the easy stuff. It’s navigating the real-life stuff that’s hard.
I think I mentioned on a previous episode how a lot of people don’t realize how simple this could be. Like breakfast could be two yogurts and a piece of fruit or a bowl of oatmeal with a protein shake and a piece of fruit.
When someone travels and says they can’t stick to their plan, it’s not usually because the plan is too hard. It’s usually because that individual has not practiced figuring out what they could do.
I notice a lot of women spiral and overwhelm themselves when new situations arise vs. just taking a breath and thinking how they could make it as simple as possible.
I said this to a client recently who’s child was sick and then she got sick.
She was eating crackers and ordering takeout, and I said to her, get cans of Progresso vegetable soup and a rotisserie chicken doordashed to you and you got a meal. She was like OMG, I never thought of that. I’m going to do that!
Exactly, we need to learn how to stay semi on track when life happens vs. doing absolutely nothing. You are way more consistent when you learn how to do that, and you will see much more progress too when you do that.
Most women suck at doing that and that is why they struggle. That is why they never make progress because they’re always stopping and re-starting vs. figuring out how to simplify and take shameless shortcuts.
This is why coaching is so helpful because it’s almost never food or knowing what to do that’s the problem.
And a lot of times, women come work with me and think I’m just going to tell them exactly what to eat and how to exercise and how sleep and manage stress and what foods to cut out and it’s going to be sunshine and rainbows and they’ll reach their goal and be so happy.
Like, yes, I give specific directions and guidelines. I help you find the most optimal nutrition for you, which includes your favorite foods, which includes balance, which included flexibility, which includes foods you enjoy while still making progress towards your goals.
I do give direction on workouts and steps and habits and mindset stuff to work on. I help you work through all the different variables that play a role in improving your body composition and health.
But more than anything else, it is the self-sabotaging behavioral patterns and self-liming beliefs that get in the way of progress. These things matter more than anything else and I see if all the time.
And yet, too often, women are so tactical focused on how much protein, how many carbs, how many calories and steps. But at the end of the day, that’s not what’s truly getting the way of progress.
It’s the consistent lifestyle changes and reducing those self-sabotaging patterns and being able to reset when something happens in your life faster or being able to think through alternative, easy options instead of doing nothing when a setback happens.
It’s like I got sick. I had an injury. I got stressed at work. This thing happened with my kids and I was racing around or I had to stay late at this work event or I had this unexpected situation.
These are the things I hear from clients’ time and again. All this stuff, nowhere did they say, I didn’t know what my calories should be. I didn’t know what my protein should be. That’s never the setback.
It’s the life stuff that causes these setbacks and not knowing how to navigate it. And it ultimately, it impacts your consistency and can make you feel like you can never gain any momentum which leads to frustration with yourself.
But if you want this to be a lifestyle, you have to learn how to navigate the real-life situations. And that, at the end of the day, is really the value of having a coach.
The point of coaching is not for someone to hand you a meal plan or a calorie number or give you a workout plan. That’s the easy part and I think that is what most women think coaching is about.
I spoke to a woman awhile back who was telling me she knew what to do but wasn’t doing it. And based on our conversation, she truly knew what she should be doing.
I explained to her it’s the limiting beliefs and sabotaging patterns getting in the way. She could not wrap her mind around that and the value of coaching. Her words were, I know what I need to do I just need to force myself to do it.
She wasn’t connecting that coaching is all about correcting the behavioral patterns and the limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of doing what she knew she should be doing, and this is true of many women.
They think coaching is just a meal plan. It's not. Well, there are some coaches that work that way but that’s not how I work.
The point is coaching is not what most women expect. Most expect a meal plan or a calorie number. Anybody can spit that out. You use a calorie calculator and get a number. You don’t need a human for that.
You need a human to work through those behavioral patterns that are sabotaging you when a real-life setback occurs. It’s to help you navigate life so that it becomes a lifestyle you can do until you’re 85 years old.
So that you can create permanent and sustainable results, and you never have to start over again.
The other piece of this is not knowing how to phase nutrition properly. Women are always pursuing fat loss and never spending any significant time learning maintenance.
If you look back on your life, how much of it has been spent pursuing fat loss?
Like you’re either totally restrictive with your diet and super strict or you’re like a wild monkey eating everything and not paying attention.
Understanding how to do maintenance and when it’s appropriate to get out of fat loss and go back to maintenance and also, knowing when it’s not appropriate to overreact and head into fat loss because of something you did wrong.
You need the first part which is learning to navigate real life when life happens so you can make this a consistent lifestyle as well as understanding how to phase nutrition and do maintenance. That is what most women need.
It is truly disheartening to see how many women tell me how frustrated they are that they are not where they want to be. Some are emotional and some will even cry while speaking to me.
They will tell me this is the most important thing to them in the world. But it’s disheartening when they choose not to get the help that they need and deserve.
They come up with all the excuses. I don’t have the time or don’t have the money or my sister’s brother’s cousin’s niece is getting married next month. They fall into the same self-sabotaging behaviors.
You have to get out of your own way if you don’t like where you are. I said this to someone in my messages the other day, you are the creator of your own misery if you do not choose to do something different.
Repeating the same behavior pattern and expecting a different outcome is you creating your own misery.
At some point you have to recognize that in order to move forward and unfortunately, it’s really difficult to recognize those self-sabotaging behaviors without the help of an outsider.
But you have to take the first step. You have to get out of your own way and be brave enough to get the help you need and deserve. That’s the first step and that part is on you. Prove to yourself that your words mean something.
Actions need to match words.
My client Tonya was on this podcast in episode 122 and she talked about how she fell into a funk when she got injured during our coaching and how coaching was what helped her figure out how not to revert back to doing nothing.
She learned through coaching how she used to fall back into the pattern of giving up whenever something happened. That is self-sabotage.
So, if you haven’t listened to Tonya’s episode, I encourage you to do so!
I’ve had a lot of clients tell me they were so glad they started coaching during a busy time or a time when they traditionally have self-sabotaged because it helped them figure out how to navigate those times.
Taking care of your health is not something you do when life is easy. It’s something you do all the time. This is your health. I say this all the time like do you stop showering or brushing your teeth when life happens?
No, you pivot and reset and learn how to get it done even if it’s not how your normally do it in your routine. A lot of us don’t carry this mindset over to nutrition and exercise.
Like for me, I never personally think when something happens like oh, can’t eat protein now or can’t get any steps today. I personally think well, I have to deal with this thing now. How do I still fit some steps in? Where do I get my protein?
It’s never an optional thing for me and it wasn’t having a calorie number or a meal plan that helped me get to this place. Food is never the problem. Knowing what to do is never the problem.
The real problem is always the thinking and not knowing how to navigate when something disrupts your life and falling back into sabotaging patterns.
That is always 100% of the time where your real work is and it is the silent killer to your fat loss progress.
I hope this episode was helpful for you! I’ll talk to you soon.
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