How’s your week so far? Mine has been filled with mixed emotions. I’m not gonna sugar coat things. The pain in my ankle has put me in a bad place. Dealing with pain takes a mental & emotional toll on a person. I have a lot of respect for people with chronic conditions. It’s easy to let it get to you. It’s definitely gotten to me. I’m kinda having my own pity party these days.
I did everything the doctors said. I was told I was healed and to start increasing my workouts. Over the last 4 weeks, I’ve been doing mostly elliptical (and did two walks) and suddenly I’m in pain again. Of course my mind is swirling with worst case possibilities. My biggest fear is the stress fracture didn’t fuse properly or the other that the tendon’s so inflamed it will need surgery.
What makes me feel worst are people telling me “you need to rest.” Um…that’s obvious, but here’s the thing. I’ve been injured since January. I’ve rested for 10 months. I’m done with resting. I’m done with injury. I’m done with this interrupting my entire life. I’m done feeling confined by injury. I’m done feeling like my body is not in my control. I’m DONE. Really I AM DONE.
I feel like this is a cruel joke. Frankly it’s impossible to rest your feet fully. You need your feet to do everything…cook, clean, do laundry, drive, go to work, get groceries, etc. So unless I quit my job and a house fairy does everything for me, it’s impossible to just do nothing.
Thankfully I have the pool to move, meditate and release. Screaming under water helps. I repeat to myself “what goes down, always comes up”. A motto I’ve said to myself so many times my whole life. I just pray that “up” comes sooner than later because this is overwhelming me. I know I should put on my big girl panties and pretend everything is all right. The blogging world sometimes gives a false sense of perfection, but life isn’t perfect. Everyone goes through ups and downs. Allow yourself to feel and have a pity party (just as long as it’s not too long). After going through almost a year of this, I’ve earned the right to feel sad.
Now for some What I Ate Wednesday pity party eats (aka comfort foods).
Breakfast. Egg whites, sautéed spinach drizzled with sriracha hot sauce and a bowl of strawberries.
A digestive enzyme or two. This stuff has done wonders for my digestion.
Still going strong on apple cider vinegar. I was told to drink it as I’m eat my meals. I’m starting to like this stuff. At first, I couldn’t drink it without pinching my nose. My belly likes it too. No more bloating.
Lunch. Kitchen sink salad aka take every leftover in the fridge and make a salad. This one was mixed greens, canned tuna, green beans, sweet potatoes and spicy mustard.
Snacks. A green apple. I’m not particularly fond of green apples. It was an orphan in the fridge from juicing. Somehow I like them in juices, but not on their own. I also found an orphan Pumpkin Almond Joy Bites in the freezer. Love it when I find orphans.
Dinner. Leftover Chicken Noodle-Less Soup. I love this soup. So comforting, warm and filling. Recipe coming soon!
Snack to Admire. Homemade granola bar. These taste exactly like samoa girl scout cookies. Sadly I’m not eating sugar right now so these had to be buried in the freezer for me to find another day unless one of you guys wants to take them from me?
How do you deal with ups and downs in life? What things or foods comfort you? Do you find orphan foods in your kitchen?