18 months ago was my first injury. Fast forward to today, a torn plantar fascia in the left foot and a right tibia fracture from a car accident. At this point, I couldn't be more emotionally, mentally and physically beaten down. I'm tired of resting, tired of being in pain, tired of not being able to live my life and tried of being a prisoner to my body. I want my life back. Dear body this is my plea.
Dear Body,
I'm sad and I know you're sad too. The last 18 months I've felt like a prisoner. A prisoner to you, my own body. I've woken up every day for 18 months in some form of pain. It began in January 2014 with a right heal stress fracture, a right ankle stress fracture in October 2014, a left plantar fascia tear in April 2015 and now a right tibia fracture. I can't be in pain anymore. This has to stop.
During these 18 months, I've done everything I can to help you heal. I've rested more, I've stopped doing cardio. The little bit of elliptical and biking I do do shouldn't hurt you. I even stopped running and walking. I started eating more and taking better nutrients. I went to the best doctors and therapists. I've missed vacations. I've missed fun with friends. So much fun. I've put all my personal goals on hold. I've lost fitness. I've gained weight. I've missed work. I've missed life. 18 months of life. I've put my entire life on hold. I've given up everything for you. For you to heal and be happy.
I know I haven't always treated you the best I could, but I don't deserve to be this unhappy and neither do you. I want to be happy again.
I don't deserve to be in pain every single day. I don't deserve to be in a boot or on crutches or in therapy. You don't deserve to be this weak. You're so much stronger than this. I don't know what I've done wrong to make you this angry with me. What I do know, is I can't be your prisoner anymore. I can't live my life this way. Enough is enough. This is my plea.
Set me free & I promise to be listen to you more.
Set me free & I promise to rest more.
Set me free & I promise to feed you good food.
Set me free & I promise I'll pay it forward to those who've helped you heal.
Set me free & I promise I'll stretch after every workout.
Set me free & I promise I'll do less cardio.
Set me free & I promise I'll stress less.
Set me free & I promise to wear supportive shoes instead of flip flops.
Set me free & I promise to swim more.
Set me free & I promise I'll forgive, love & cherish you again.
Body, I didn't know what was making you so very sick. How could I know? It was so mysterious. But now that I do know, it's time. Time to heal. I don't want to be your victim anymore. I want to live my life again. Love, laugh, run and cry tears of joy not tears of pain. I beg you body...give me my life back. Free me from this hell I've been living. Tell me what you need because I can't be your prisoner anymore.
[Tweet "I Don't Want To Be A Prisoner Anymore, Dear Body This Is My Plea @FitFluential @FitApproach"]
Lots of Health, Food & Love,
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Wow--Megan! I have been out of pocket so am just getting all caught up on blogs. Did the car accident cause the stress fracture and the torn plantar fascia? That is terrible news! I am so, so sorry. I can relate. Back in 2009 I spent most of the year in a boot. First I had a stress fracture and then I tore an ankle ligament. I was just so over it and it was such a challenging year. I hope you can find the light at the end of this tunnel. Keep your chin up, girl!
The torn plantar fascia happened in April. It took until now for the right doctor to listen and do an MRI to find out what was going on. The tibia is fractured (not a stress fracture) near the knee. Thankfully it's a clean fracture and does not require surgery and yes the car accident appears to be the cause. It' been 18 months that I've been injured in some way. I can't say I'm optimistic that I will ever get out of this. 2 years is a long time to be injured and now they're saying 12 months full recovery with a tibia fracture.
Oh, man. Like you said, it's been a long 2 years. I am hoping you can find comfort in focusing on the things you can do! I am also a swimmer so thank goodness for the pool. Sending good thoughts your way, Megan.
Megan, I am so so so sorry!!!!! I wish I could do something for you!!!! All I can say is maybe look into the Hoka OneOne shoes I wear after you are better. They saved my exercise & walking life!!!
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Such a feeling post!!!!!!
Oh thanks Jody! I really need a lot of hugs. And yes, wearing my Hoka's now. I've had them for months. You know what? I've done zero walking or running these past months. Only elliptical, biking and swimming and still this happened.