What Is Your Biggest Regret?
A few week's ago I saw this clip about a chalkboard that was placed in New York City for a day asking people what is your biggest regret. As pedestrians walked by the chalkboard, they wrote their regrets and it quickly became an accumulated pity of self reflection.
Watching the clip made me really sad. It reminded me of myself, how for nearly two decades my one and only focus was my career and advancing myself through the ranks. Health, fitness, family or a social life were virtually an invisible aspect of my life. As we all know, that didn't get me far because corporate america made me sick and I'm still paying the consequences of chronic stress. When you something bad happens to you in life, you think about all the things you would have, could have, should have done. It's a wake up call.
Unfortunately, I think many can relate to this. You're thrusted from high school either into college or the real world expected to know at a young age what matters most to you. Then when you finally figure things out, you feel trapped in the life you've created. You're afraid to change, fear failure and feel regret. Not to mention there's that heavy expectation on our shoulders from our parents expecting us to do more and better than them. So instead of saying yes to things you really want to do, you say no. You take the safe route longing for something different yet holding yourself back.
It's easy for priorities to get jumbled in day-to-day life and that means the majority of your time and energy are consumed by things that are not as important to you. This makes it unclear how to give the things that matter a priority. A few simple steps will help make that clear for you.
What Do You Want To Do Before You Die?
I want you to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax. Imagine yourself many years from now. You have lived a long and full life. I want you to reflect upon your life from this mature vantage point. What did you experience and enjoy in life? What did you most appreciate accomplishing? Write it down.
Next imagine yourself today, at your current age. Imagine you have just learned you have a rare disease and you have six months to live. In those six months, what do you want to experience, change, do, accomplish and have? Write it down.
Take a look at your two lists and compare your answers. Are they the same or are they different? Most likely your answers will be different because when faced with illness things take on a new meaning and your perspective changes. Take the lists you created. Rank your answers from most to least important. These are your values.
It's Never Too Late
Why would I live any differently if I had six months to live or thirty years to live? All life has a timeline. Some longer, some shorter. Everything always comes has to end. Just because you do not know when your end is, why would you live today like you had all the time in the world?
It took me a long time to realize that I had a choice. A choice about how I treated my body, a choice about who I let into my life and a choice about how I live my life. I choose how I live and so do you. It's never too late and you're never too old to do something you've always wanted to do.
Whether it be losing weight, running a marathon, saying "I'm sorry," changing careers or taking that bucket list trip, don't put it off. Take one step in the direction you want to be and just do it. You're only a failure if you don't try.
What is your biggest regret? Mine? Not taking control of my life sooner.
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Stephanie @ Wholesome Paradise says
I'm struggling with this too. I just quit my job last week. I was a teacher and it was mid-school year. But I knew that if I stayed, I would regret it. I try not to live with regrets, but the truth is I have them. I'm trying to do like you and take control of my life. It's not easy but it's doable. Good luck to you on your journey of control, Megan.
Megan says
I'm glad that you said that. I sort of felt like everyone was saying what you're supposed to say which is that you don't regret and learn from your mistakes, but I still believe everyone has regrets. Thanks for being honest and best of luck to you too!
Jody - Fit at 58 says
I just can't go here right now - life is too messed up... HUGS!
Megan says
Thinking of you!
Shannon says
Mine would be spending so many years trying to control my food and weight! It didnt get me anywhere, and I lost so many years of my childhood days where I could have been having fun!
Megan says
I think a lot of people can probably relate to this. Thanks for being so honest!
Beverley @ BORNTOSWEAT says
Ahh this is such a deep post!! That sounds like a sad video, and i know if I watch it i will probably cry haha. I think my one regret was having my mind set on one thing when I was graduating high school, and not looking at other options for my future. I just wanted to be in business and make tons of $$! Thought that was the only thing that would make me happy =P
Megan says
Sounds familiar!
Lisa @ RunWiki says
I believe that everything I've done in my life was something I needed to learn in order to become who I am today so, I'm not sure that I "regret" anything, except if I hurt people in the that process, then I guess that would be my only regret. Who I am today is ever changing. I am much more mature and make better choices now that I am a wife and mother of three young children. When I close my eyes and think of the things I want to do, they all involve my children. Just being with them, loving them and extending my hand to them in whatever way they need. I used to have big dreams of changing the world, but now I realize that my loved ones are everything to me. There ARE my world.
Megan says
I imagine if I had children that would be how I feel too. In a sense, you are making the world better by raising them to be motivating and inspiring individuals.
Sarah @ Making Thyme for Health says
I love the message in this post, Megan! I don't really have any big regrets but I have realized how important it is to do things that make you happy. I'm currently struggling with the desire to transition to blogging full-time instead of just part-time but it's so hard to give up the stable income that comes from my career in healthcare. I really admire those who are brave enough to jump in and take a risk to do something they love. It's not easy!
Megan says
Oh I understand that fear all too well. I went back and forth a lot on that. I finally realized that being comfortable with the uncomfortable was necessary fear to overcome if I wanted to start my own business.
Hollie says
This is interesting and I'm glad I stumbled into your blog today. I'm not sure my biggest regret. Most of my regrets, I've learned from. I think learning from any mistake is important and if you can do that, there is no need to regret anything.
Megan says
True. I know for me, there are a handful of moments I wish I could go back and re-do. Something as simple as saying good-bye or I'm sorry.
Erin @ Erin's Inside Job says
I've tried to find the positive in everything that's happened to me along the way, even the poor decisions. That way I can look on the bright side and realize that everything I've done has led me to the place I am today, which I'm pretty happy about. You can't change the past, so I like to concentrate on wherever I am today and work towards making a better future!
Megan says
I like you'r optimism girl!
Amanda @ .running with spoons. says
I honestly can't say that I really have any regrets. Not because I haven't done stupid things, but because regret is one of those negative emotions that doesn't really get you anywhere so I try to nip those thoughts of the past in the bud before they have a chance to take root and spread their poison. I think that everything happens for a reason and that it's the lesson that matters most.
Megan says
That's a great way to look at it.
Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood says
I have this weird thing where I refuse to have regrets - because I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Yes, I could have gone to a (much, much, much) cheaper college since I didn;t even like the one I went to, but then I may not have met my husband, or had my son(s).. etc.
Megan says
That's awesome. I think a lot of people are unhappy with where they are in life, but are too scared to make a change.
lindsay says
it took me a long time to realize that too. In fact, i still work on it. Daily. We have a choice. We need to live FULLY, no regrets
Megan says
I only wish I would have figured it out sooner.
Susie @ SuzLyfe says
I made a decision a little while ago (and I've written about it on the blog) that I don;t regret any of the decisions that I've ade in my life, as long as they were morally in line and ethically in line. Behaviorally, I regret not being kind at times that I should, and not learning how to take a step back or a step forward at times, but by and large, I've been very fortunate in being in touch with myself.
Megan says
Yeah, I think what I was trying to get at in this post is that people stay where they are because they're comfortable and too scared to do what they really want to.
michele @ paleorunningmomma says
If it's possible, at this point I don't actually have regrets, but that doesn't mean I've made some crazy mistakes! I'm happy with where I am right now though things seem crazy often, it just feels like I'm on the right path for me. I would hate to look back and feel like I didn't take chances, that would be a big regret.
Megan says
That's a good place to be in!